Let's Go Flyers!

For some reason, I always feel it should be "Phlyers."

Anywho, the Flyers open up their playoff series tonight against the Washington Capitals. The Capitals, as you know, have Ovechkin, who is pretty much the best player in the league (you know, who doesn't dive and cry all the time to the officials). The Flyers have a bunch of guys that are sorta young, sorta fast, and occassionally sorta good. And yes, I'm generalizing.

Luckily, we've just recieved word that Danny Briere's mom signed his permission slip (he finally got done his solar system presentation for the science fair) so he'll accompany the team to Washington.

The Flyers finished with season with 95 points on 42 wins, whereas the Capitals finished with 94 points on 43. (full standings found here). Neither goalie has any postseason experience, and both teams are generally inexperienced in the postseason.

Unlike Crosby, Ovechkin is worthy of our respect --when you hit him, he'll hit you back. Against any other team, Ovechkin would be fun to root for. He's a rarity in professional sports in that you can tell just by watching the game that he genuinely loves playing hockey. He plays the game with exuberance, tenacity, and a ridiculously high skill level. It's a shame we're going to have to mug him.

Bottom Line: Two young, evenly matched teams. Two inexperienced goalies.

The Call: Flyers in Six.

I'm Suddenly OK with Instant Replay in Baseball

This has got to change. This umpiring crew didn't impress anyone all series, particularly Larry Andersen, who noted "[the umpire] hasn't seen anything all night, so he didn't see this," during Wednesday's game.

Check out these still images from bugsandcranks.com. So yeah, Reyes was out at the plate in the 12th inning of a divisional game, and the Mets were unjustly awarded a victory they didn't earn. This is a fact. It is not subject to argument. Whether or not the Phillies would go on to win, who knows?

Now, I take issue with the "it's only April" argument. Every single game played during the regular season counts exactly the same in the standings, whether it's in Japan, April, August, or September. It could turn out that this game was the deciding game of whether or not the Phils make the playoffs this year--And it was lost on a blown call. Now how do you feel?

Further, why don't we have instant replay in baseball? It's not like I'm asking for a clock here. (God forbid). It makes me want to write a letter:

Dear MLB;

Mankind is by nature an inventive creature. Not satisfied with the status quo (Ed. Note- This means "the way things are," Mr. Selig), mankind often seeks to improve things. These improvements are then adopted into society for the betterment of all.

For instance, instead of a cave heated with a brush fire started with chunks of flint and ore, I live in a house warmed by central heating with an electric ignition system. Instead of hunting and gathering, we developed agriculture, which more reliably feeds a greater number of people on a much smaller amount of land. I think we can agree that these are all improvements.

Baseball itself has seen improvements. From changing materials in the uniforms, to lowering the mound, to the introduction of the designated hitter, baseball has shown itself to be open to change, when change is necessary.

Such a situation is currently necessary. Your umpires and other officials are simply not very good at calling people out or safe at either first base or home plate. This is partly due to their positioning during these plays, partly due to the speed of today's game, and partly due to incompetence.

Please allow calls at first base and home plate to be reviewed via an instant replay system. I know that this will be unpopular; however, it will have the moral benefit of being the right thing to do, and assure that games have a proper outcome reached within the rules of the game. I think we can all agree that this is a noble goal.

P.S. - Congratulations to Mr. Selig on his recent contract extension. I didn't give a crap about whether Sosa and McGuire were on 'roids either.

Truly Yours,

LoveTron 4000

There. I feel much better.

Blame Game

Ok, so let's get this out of the way first. Jose Reyes was out. To call him safe was a terrible call; not one for the history books bad, but bad none the less. Let's put it this way. Chris Coste was firm in his stance that he blocked the plate and prevented Reyes from scoring. The Mets players....eh, not so much. A lot of wishy-washy quotes about how it was a good call, all said with the cocky smirk of a man sheepishly denying that he nailed a woman well out of his league because she asked him not to tell anyone. Even the talking heads at ESPN, the same ones who could only root for the Mets harder if the Red Sox were banished from MLB or if Willie Randolph, Howard Johnson & Rick Peterson were replaced by Peyton Manning, Brett Farve and Tiger Woods, said he was out. All that being said, Ted Barrett's error in judgement may have been the camel back-breaking straw, but it wasn't the reason the Phillies lost last night. Who is to say that had Reyes been ruled out that the Phightins would've scored another run this night? Keep in mind, if the game went one more inning, Charlie Manuel's next move would've been to roll out Clay Condrey, he of the early season 9.64 ERA. So, who gets the blame for this one? I'll give you 3, in order, and by some miracle, neither Charlie nor Adam Eaton nor Tom Gordon make the list.

3. Geoff Jenkins.
Geoff almost makes the list for the stupid spelling of his first name alone but I've been able to see past that and look into his soul. As I stared into the man's eyes, one thing was obvious...he doesn't have a clue. Let's paint a quick picture. Top of the 6th. Down 2-0. Offense has been sputtering, again, all game. Adam Eaton somehow has found a sliver of mediocre pitching ability and you know it's not going to last. The bases are loaded with 2 outs. The pitcher is tiring. He has walked the last two guys to load the bases, the latter of the two on 4 pitches, none of which was within 3 zip codes of the strike zone. You dig in and everything is in your favor. You bat left-handed. The pitcher is righty. He is drained. You're fresh from not doing much of anything this season other then stroke your goatee out in right field. The first pitch is a good 6 inches off the plate. 1-0. You might as well pull up a lawn chair and enjoy the next couple of pitches. There's no way that bat is leaving your shoulder until this soft-tosser decides to throw at least one, if not 2, over the plate. Here's the stretch...and the pitch...and...and...you swing?! You freaking swing?! Not only do you swing, but you make contact? The odds of Jenkins doing that in any plate appearance are 50-50 at best. But you choose now to show us that not only can you hit the ball, but you can ground out weakly to end the inning. Nice work, Jeff. And yes, I know how to spell your name.

2. Shane Victorino
Where to start? 1. Don't get doubled off first base in the first inning. Just steal the base, get sacrificed over to third and then score when Utley puts the ball in play. But I'll let this play slide. 2. When you're down by 2 runs with one out and you have your two left handed mashers due up to take their hacks at a laboring right-hander, stay put. If you absolutely must steal, you better make it. Not sure where your head is at. You took away the hole from Utley. You killed a potential rally. And you got thrown out, easily, by a sub-par catcher. 3. Top of the 7th. Team's already put one run on the board and the next two players have reached base. Top of the line-up due up. Shane decides this is a good time to try and lay down a sacrifice. Couple of small problems. First, he sucks and fouls off the first two bunts attempts. Second, he strikes out on a curve ball in the dirt that he didn't even begin swinging at until it had already bounced once (not cricket, Shane!). Third, he must have forgotten that Rollins wasn't playing and that batting behind him was not Utely and Howard, but.....

1. Eric Bruntlett
After his abysmal Phillies debut, I was willing to give ole' E.B. a pass. He earned a short leash, but at least a temporary pass. Let's sum up his encore performance though. 0-6. 2 strikeouts. Hit into a double play. Left 7 men on base. He's is the slowest footed man to ever play shortstop in the major leagues. Any ball hit to his right is a certain base hit. Doesn't matter if it's Jose Reyes or Jose Feliciano running. He can't move and he can't throw. And to wrap it all up in a pretty little package, apparently he can't bunt either. Cole Hamels can come in cold and laid down the perfect bunt, all without a pre-game rub-down from his chiropractor. Yet the best Bruntlett can manage is to foul off three 84 mph curve balls to strike out. If he gets the bunt down, the infield has to come in. Not only does Utley not hit into a double play, but that ball is scorched past the drawn in second baseman. 2 runs will score.

If there is any justice in the world, the following will happen. Jayson Werth should get some at-bats and not just against lefties or in late inning situations. The guy is a better hitter right now then Jenkins and a better OF defensively. Shane Victorino managed to get pulled from the game last night after his ineffectiveness. Give him a day or two on the bench. It is painfully obvious that he is one of these guys who has way to much cockiness for someone who has yet to do much in the bigs. He needs a quick reality dose just to show him that his spot in the line-up is not a certainty. And Bruntlett should be cut. I am sure some will say this is the typical Philadelphian over reaction. In some ways, maybe it is. But tell me what redeeming baseball qualities this man possesses. Can't run. Can't hit. Can't field. Can't shave properly. And he has managed to do the unthinkable.

Here we are, 10 games in, and Bruntty has managed to stir a yearning in my loins for one Abraham Nunez.

Phils Handle Their Bidness

...and remain a game back of the Marlins in the N.L. East.

Yesterday was a wonderful game. Not because the Phils played well- they didn't -but because the Mets bullpen completely self-destructed. The only way it could have been better would be if Billy Wagner was prominently involved somehow.

What's that you say? Although Wags didn't play, he didn't let that stop him from commenting at length on the Phils-Mets rivalry? If only someone was there to record those comments! Enter Rich Hoffman of the Phildelphia Daily News, who has been given "super-stud" status for the next 24 hours:

"We're a damn good team and - you know what? - as ugly, at times, as it looked today, tomorrow it's going to change. We're going to go out there and play the way we play and do well. I think we're all tired of hearing, 'The Phils have our number.' The Phils don't have our number. We keep shooting ourself in the foot every time we get out there. We've got to quit worrying about who we're playing and the mental aspects and just play the game . . .
"We don't worry about facing Ryan Howard and Chase Utley - we could care less," Wagner said.

I'm practically giddy at this point. Billy goes on for quite some time about you know, the Phils aren't in the Mets' heads, or anything. Just goes to show that because you can rear alpacas and throw fastballs doesn't mean that you're any good at talking.

Or being a likeable human being.

And When the Swedish Bikini Team Fell From the Sky...

Oh yes. It most definitely gets better. Roy Williams, whom I cannot stand, is the current coach of the University of North Carolina's Mens' Basketball Team. He also coached in Kansas for fourteen years, leading that program to several final fours, but never the National Championship.

He deserted his 2004 Final Four team in Kansas to go coach UNC to the 2005 title.

Enough background. Immediately following my entry explaining (in a condensed format) the douchebaggery that is Roy Williams, I get treated to the picture attached to this post. Roy Williams. With a Kansas sticker on his shirt. 48 hours after Kansas DEMOLISHED his team, embarrassing them by leading by as many as 26 and generally dong-slapping them up and down the court.

Of course, the UNC players were no longer in Detroit, having flown back to school in shame after their loss in the semi-finals. But that doesn't stop Ol' Roy!

Have a little class. You are being paid lavishly to be the face of North Carolina basketball. You should be with YOUR TEAM, which happens to be the place that currently signs your checks. If you must be at the game, wear neutral colors, and don't make a show of rooting for any one team over another.

You see, Ol' Roy needs to be loved. He needs to be loved by two fanbases at once. He wants to be connected to Kansas' current success, because Kansas enjoyed no such success when he was coach. He needs to handled carefully. In addition to being a wealthy egomaniac, he's also very sensitive. Sure he's getting paid boatloads of money. Sure his school basically recruits itself. Sure he's not a very good, um "coach." But while he's building his reputation by making promises of a higher education to illiterate young men which he has no intention of keeping (either the promises or the young men), he needs you to take it easy on him. Roy demands the utmost loyalty from his players, university, and fans.

But he doesn't require it of himself.

And that, my friends, is the definition of a piece of shite.

When Roy Williams Loses, Everyone Wins.

(Warning. Above Statement Not True.)

As you may have guessed, I don't like Roy Williams. It began with the way he eagerly stabbed his Kansas Final Four team in the back and jumped ship to UNC before the 2004-05 season. You know, all those kids did was believe him when he swore up and down that he'd have their back for 4 to 5 years of their lives. What a dick.

To make matters worse, R-dub immediately won a National Championship in 2005 with someone else's players. And yes, I'm still upset that they won their Sweet Sixteen game over Villanova by one freaking point on some bush league traveling call on Allen Ray in the last minute of the game.

I know college coaches are universally understood to be full of shit nowadays, but come on. That Kansas team had Kirk Heinrich on it. They were good. They had a chance. Instead, Williams chose to leave for the easy recruiting and ridiculous pay of UNC - although it's not like he was using food stamps coaching for UNC.

In Conclusion, I don't like Roy Williams because he's a liar, a traitor, a moron, a douche, and probably doesn't recycle. Good job, Kansas.

E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles!!! Yeah!!!

If you’ve ever attended a Philadelphia sports event, you’ve invariably been exposed to a trend that seems to have escalated in the past 7-8 years, in direct concurrence with the recent success of an above average Eagles squad. It’s the infamous E-A-G-L-E-S spelling bee – you know, the one where your average friendly fan feels obliged to prove to everyone within 50 yards that he can spell his favorite green football team’s name, and that he’d appreciate it if you too could demonstrate your grasp of spelling easy words by yelling the letters in unison. Then, if you spell it right, you get to scream the word you just spelled. Hey, congratulations! You just won the South Philly spelling bee! The J-E-T-S have a remarkably similar spelling bee that is slightly easier to win and, you guessed it - everybody wins that one too. Frankly, it reeks of communism.

Oh that’s just me being silly, it’s not just a spelling bee that everybody wins. It’s a chant!
You yell chants to show your support for your team, in this case the Eagles. At one point, this chant was improperly and unjustly reserved for use during Eagles games and other Eagles-related activities. But don’t fret, that wrong has been righted! Now all Philadelphia sporting events can now show their support for a team that is not the one they are currently watching. And it’s so easy to do, here’s how:

1. Go to Philadelphia Phillies game
2. Wait a few innings
3. Observe and think to yourself “Hey, Madson is shitting the bed again. Former Phillie Geoff Geary looks like the rat from Ratatouille (random thought you may or may not have, I have had this random thought many times). How can I best show my complete disillusionment for this team in a way that disparages them even though it’s only two games into the season while simultaneously showing my support for the green men across the street who are slightly better and also prove to my new friends in section 346 that I can spell? Wait, I know!”

And then you just let it go. DO IT. Instant respect. Even non-Eagles fans have to respect you, you’re a hero. Go get yourself a Bud Light, you deserve it.