You Never Close Your Eyes Anymore When I Kiss Your Lips...

Your Phightin' Phils got TWO HIT last night by Jagggr Jurrrrrgens and the Atlanta Braves. Go back and read that last sentence again. Amazingly, they managed to score a run, but did so without a hit. Werth walked, advanced to third when Jurrrrrgennnnz threw the ball away trying to pick him off, and scored from third on the weakest sac fly I've seen since I stopped drinking at Little League games.

Jimmy Rollins. Oh Jimmy. You used to be my favorite, so slick with the glove. But now you're 0-8 with in this series and 0 for your last 27. If the magic isn't gone, it's draining quickly.

Cole Hamels is more troubling. He have up seven earned runs last night in 4+ innings, raising his ERA to 4.98 for the season. He's also been having trouble all year with pitch counts. I've notice that teams are fouling off a lot of pitches against him, most of which were swing-and-misses in the past. To me, that says his stuff just isn't quite as nasty. It'll be interesting to see how he bounces back next start.

In conclusion, f$#$@&!

Series Recap: Phils - Blue Jays

Hey! Guess what! Jimmy Rollins sat for this whole series, mainly because Uncle Chuck finally figured out that having your leadoff hitter batting .211 with a .254 on base percentage is generally bad for business. And the Phillies' business is scoring runs.

For those of you new to this team, the Phillies do NOT win when they score less than four runs. It does not happen. If, in some bizarre future, you turn on the tube and the phillies are up 3-0 in the bottom of the ninth, turn off the television. Because they will lose.

The phils last five wins: 5-4, 10-0, 10-1, 11-6, 6-3. We need to score runs, people.

Series Recap: Whoo! we finally take a series! Despite choking on it all through interleague play, the phils are now three games up on the Mets.

The Good: J.A. Happ. I love it when a guy comes up does well his first several games, and he's crowned the next great Phillies Pitcher. There was only one great Phillies Pitcher-Steve Carlton. And he's dead. (Ed. Note - Steve Carlton not actually dead.)

I wish you well, Happ, but you'll find that Major Leaguers pick up that 91 mph fastball a little better the second time around.

The Bad: Brad Lidge. I know he got the save, but that knee is not all the way back. If it's not back by now, folks, it's not coming back. Not this season.

The Hero: Jamie Moyer. He only gave up four runs in five innings! What progress! Did you guys know we get to watch him next year, too? Jamie Moyer also tied Bob Gibson for career victories, which is the last time the two of them will be mentioned in the same sentence.

The Goat: John McDonald. He was put in as a pinch runner, then somehow got caught in a rundown off second base, practically awarding Lidge the save when he had looked very shaky. John Mcdonald, the manager would like to see you. No, change out of your uniform first.

Uncle. We'll Start Writing Again.

I hope you're happy, Phillies.

The authors of this little escapade started writing because we were so fed up with the Philadelphia sports scene. We started writing in baseball season, and although I fancy myself a football fan first and foremost, the frequency and depth of our posts followed the Phillies' season. Simply put, if they're not losing, we're not writing.

Then a funny thing happened. The Phils started winning. All the time. There's no need for the cathartic angst spray of a blog post after a World Championship. We were satiated. We were...happy.

Happy = no writing. A remarkable Eagles season came. I wrote about how Dawkins was washed up, then he had one of the best and most inspiring seasons of his career. McNabb played ok, got benched, then played out of his mind. DeSean Jackson is the first legit WR we've had since Fred Barnett. The Flyers made the playoffs. The Sixers made the playoffs. This has been a great season for Philly sports. Our collective reaction: eh. We were still in the fuzzy afterglow, all fattened up on winning.

However, the Phils' recent slide, and lacksadaisical play, has reignited some of the embers in my cold heart. Jimmy Rollins is two years removed from his BS MVP year, and refuses to hit line drives-but the man still plays the best SS in the National League. Jason Werth is batting .250, and looking worse. The whole team plays like a bunch a wimps all the sudden. And it's despicable.

It's horrendous. It's an affront to the best fans in the world, who pay good money to watch them suck. And I, well, I just can't take this anymore.

We're back, bitches.

RIP HARRY

I had a bunch of family over today when my aunt got a call from my uncle that Harry Kalas had been found passed out in the booth in Washington. We turned on Comcast Sportsnet for updates and shortly saw the unthinkable headline " HARRY KALAS PASSES AWAY". My family and I sat in stunned silence while we heard all of the details. I watched the ring ceremony with my son on Wednesday and said to my wife, " I'm going to cry like a baby when he dies". It was a matter of fact statement, because the older Harry got, you knew it was inevitable. I never thought it would happen this soon.

When someone dies, you try to put a positive spin on it and this is no different. I'm glad that he saw his beloved Phillies win the World Series last year, got to make the call and throw out the first pitch at the ring ceremony. He died in the booth, no doubt prepping himself to call the game that he loved since he was a 10 year old with a dream. His voice got me through tough years with the Phillies and was great background noise even if you weren't watching the game. I remember watching a Phillies/Marlins game circa 1993 while I was doing my homework and hearing Harry's distinct " OUTTA HERE" call. It mad me sad today seeing the Phillies hit home runs and not hearing his great voice making the call. Harry may be gone from this Earth but the countless memories that he both called and provided will never be "outta here". I hope he's up havign a drink with his buddy Whitey right now and laughing every time the Phillies hit another homerun. OUTTA HERE indeed Harry. Rest in peace.

23 Years, No Regrets

According to his blog at 38pitches.com, Curt Schilling is walking away. He was an accomplished starter, an animal in the postseason, and one of the top 2 or 3 big game pitchers of his era. Despite a mere 216 career wins (thanks, Phils!), he had a postseason ERA 2.23, going 11-2 in October in 19 starts, with 4 complete games. From 1999-2003, Beast was spelled S-C-H-I-L-L-I-N-G. The man pitched in Philly for the better part of nine seasons and walks away with three rings. Respect.

I believe the Hall of Fame can, and should, be in his future.

He was also an outspoken critic of steroids and steriod users at a time when other players closed ranks and shut up. Remember Tejada's B12 injections? Sammy Sosa forgetting how to speak English? Big Mac not wanting to talk about the past? Schilling called them all out on it, said they were cheaters, said they were full of it.

According to his post, he's got zero regrets.

Except for, you know, being a huge d-bag.

Need a teammate to put a towel over his head while you save the game? Go to Schill. Need a guy to trash an entire city to force his trade for 25 cents on the dollar? Go to Schill. Need a guy to offer unsolicited advice, half-formed opinions, and general nonsense? Go to Schill.

Let's just say I'm not sad to see him go. Pass me the Haterade on Curt Schilling.

Running Down the Dream: Phils Offseason Moves

In this first installment, we'll look at who came and who left. We'll save all the contract extensions for another post. Moves rated as "Boo," "Eh," or "High Five!"

Who left:

Pat Burrell: Verdict: Eh. Tough to get excited about this one. Pat takes his .250 batting average and robust walkability down to Tampa, where the DH role suits his physical abilities better than left field. Of course, a lot of things suit Pat the Bat better than playing the field; try anything that doesn't involve running.

Adam Eaton. Verdict: High Five! He was a mistake when the Phils drafted him in 1996, and he was a mistake ten years later when they signed him to a three year, 25 million dollar contract. The Phils released him today, but are still on the hook for his approx. 8.5 million dollar salary, plus a $500,000 buyout of a club option next year. Interesting how that world championship absolves Gillick of this atrocious signing.

Who's New:

Raul Ibanez. Verdict: Eh. Signing Ibanez as Burrell's replacement in Left would be a wash - if Ibanez batted righty. Since he bats lefty, that puts 3 lefthanded bats in a row in the middle of our lineup. Amaro pointed out that Ibanez batted over .300 against lefties last year. What Amaro fails to mention is that from 2006-2008, Ibanez batted .269 against lefties. And he strikes out 100 times a year, like everyone else on this team. And the man's 37, so we signed him to a three year, 31 million dollar deal. This is not going to end well. But the name "Raul" is kinda fun.

Manny Ramirez: Verdict: high five! locking up the most dangerous line drive hitter of his generation with a relatively meager two year, $47 million dollar deal could be the move that puts this group over the top in their bid to repeat. Batting between Utley and Howard, Ramirez protects both lefties, and is poised to...what's that? we signed the guy from the Mariners instead, even though he's just as old? Crap.

Does This Look Familiar?

Are the 2008 Brewers the 2007 Phillies?

2008 Phillies, meet your 2007 dopplegangers. A team that goes on a run down the stretch to make the playoffs for the first time in a long time? Check. Dominant starting pitcher in the regular season who loses his playoff start? Check. General "Just Happy to Be Here" Attitude? Check. High-scoring, HR-based offense that disappeared in the postseason? Check.

Phils Win 5-2.

In the playoffs, you need someone to step up besides your all stars. Enter Shane Victorino and Jason Werth. We know them well, but they're far from household names. First four times these two got to the plate resulted in 3 doubles and a Grand Slam. That's a good day.

Charlie Manuel also got props from the announcers for switching Victorino and Werth in the lineup. Werth went on to get two doubles in the game. Of course, Utley and Howard are a combined 1-8 in the series, which is keeping me up at night. Unfortunately, that's not a joke.

The Good: Victorino, Myers, Werth, Feliz. It was a righties day at the ballpark. Lidge needed only 12 pitches to record his second save of the postseason. Maybe Mitch Williams was right, and Lidge was too well rested for his pitches to be effective. Maybe Milwaukee has already given up on this series. Maybe this was the one-game quiet before the Lidge-implosion storm. I'll take it.

The Bad: Myers first inning, in which he had the bases loaded with one out and got a miracle double play ball. Wow. That could have been a lot worse. Kudos to Myers for shaking it off and pitching a good game. Myers also walked in a run, which is generally frowned upon in baseball circles.

The Hero: Shane Victorino. A Grand Slam off of the unhittable CC Sabathia in the playoffs? If you made it up, no one would believe you. Runner up to Brett Myers. 7 strong innings, gave up only 2 runs.

The Goat: CC Sabathia. He struggled with his location (and the umpire's strike zone) all day, only lasting 3 2/3 innings and throwing 98 pitches. Of course, he single-handedly got Milwaukee here. This was his fourth consecutive start in three days rest.

The Take-Away Point: This Phillies team is for real. Now, if we can only get Utley and Howard to start hitting, and if we face the Dodgers in the NLCS...

Is the Long Nightmare Finally Over?

For those of you just emerging from your bomb shelters after the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Phillies won Game 1 of their NLDS series with the Brewers yesterday, 3-1. This game featured 8 shutout innings buy Cole Hamels, a heart attack save by Brad Lidge, a crappy offense, and miscues by the Brewers that basically gave us the three runs.

(Also, as an aside, a lot has happened since then. Kennedy got assasinated, his little brother ran for President and also got shot, their was this big bruhaha about a conspiracy. Also, the Phillies won a World Series! Crazy, right? There was this third baseman, Mike Schmidt, who was pretty much the best in the history of the game. But we're pissed again, cause that was 28 years ago. We'll catch up more later.)

The Good: The Phils offense did nothing, and they won.

The Bad: The Phils offense did nothing. Also, Brad Lidge is no longer "Lights Out" but more "Is Someone Messing With The Dimmer Switch, 'Cause I'm Trying to Read the Paper."

The Hero: Cole Hamels. 8 shutout innings, 2 hits. Good thing they didn't let him come out in the ninth.

The Goat: Mike Cameron/Rickie Weeks. Weeks misplayed a bunt by Hamels for an error, allowing Hamels to get on base and the runner to move to second. Cameron then misplayed a line drive by Chase Utley, in what should have been an error, allowing the Phillies first two runs to score. Gotta love that hometown scoring!

The Take-Away Point: Undecided. On one hand, you need things to go your way to win in the playoffs. On the other, your offense is going to have to eventually score some runs to win, also. We'll see.

Win it For...

Ok, allow me to preface this post, my first in quite some time, by saying that I'm stealing the idea for this column. Bill Simmons wrote a column prior to the Red Sox winning the World Series in 2004 in which he listed all of the people who would benefit from a Red Sox championship. Granted, the Phillies haven't gone nearly 100 years without a title, but the city of Brotherly Love has endured a losing streak in the triple digits when you combine all of our pro sports franchises. And, specifically for the contributors to this blog, that means no Philadelphia championships in our conscious fan-lives. Anyway, the point here is that while the idea for this column is not original, the thoughts are and I'm certain the Mr. Simmons would see this imitation as flattery and nothing more. And with that....

Win it for all of us Philadelphia sports fans under the age of 30 who have never truly experienced a championship (sorry Soul, Kixx & Wings supporters).

Win it for Charlie Manuel. Listen, I was and remain one of the biggest critics of Uncle Charlie's strategic management of a baseball game. But he has done the unthinkable. He has managed to turn the country-bumpkin attitude into an endearing quality, managed to guide this team to the playoffs in back to back seasons and managed to win over the fans of this town against all odds.

Win it for Donovan McNabb, Allen Iverson, Eric Lindros, et al. A Philadelphia championship of any kind will diminish the amount of abuse that Philadelphians lump on all of our superstars because we are so desperate for a parade.

Win it for Doug Parker. A Phillies title would go a long ways to ending the incessant E-A-G-L-E-S chants heard during mid-summer Phills games. The more he laments these incidents, the more I agree with my angry, hippy friend.

Win it for Terry Francona. And beat the Red Sox to do it. F-you, Terry. We haven't forgotten how you basically gave up on this town, how you continued to show loyalty to guys like Kevin Sefcik who must've had pictures or performed unspeakable acts on you and how you called your time here a mulligan. Listen ass, maybe your heart wasn't in it here, but ours was.

Win it for the Phillie Phanatic. Can you imagine the belly thrust he's gonna do if they won this thing?

Win it for Pat Burrell. Pat has certainly had his ups and downs with this team, but this is undoubtedly his last year in Philadelphia. In hindsight, this was a guy who never got in trouble off the field, never turned on the fans, even when they turned on him and who loves it here.

Win it for the Phillies fans in North Jersey and New York or just those who associate with others from those areas and who constantly have to listen to how the Mets (and Marlins) have one more World Series title then the Phillies, despite far fewer years of existence.

Win it for my Dad. He's always loved baseball and he's the reason I love baseball. I'd love nothing more then to celebrate with him, even without the guarantee that he would buy the beer.

Win it for Broad Street. It's been a long time since something positive rolled down that street.

Win it for the flag pole. That 1980 banner looks awfully lonely in centerfield.

Win it for ESPN. We need something to change the national media perception of Philadelphia fans as the slime of the earth. I think a title would do that.

Win it for all those sissy athletes who have thought it was too difficult to play in front of our passionate fan base, some of those who even went so far as to say the fans are one of the reasons for the championship drought. No one says that in Cleveland or Chicago and they've gone a lot longer then us without a World Series victory.

Win it for Ed Wade. Wade was always scared to make that big move and that, along with no-trade clauses, will be his legacy here. But don't forget, the Ed Wade regime brought us Hamels, Utley, Rollins, Howard, Myers, Burrell and Victorino. Pat Gillick has brought us Jamie Moyer and Brad Lidge. And Wes Helms, Geoff Jenkins, So Taguchi, Joe Blanton, Adam Eaton, etc. I'm not trying to deify Wade, but let's remember that he did do some things well. If you recall, the year that the Mets traded Scott Kazmir to the Devil Rays for Victor Zambrano, Wade declined to move Ryan Howard for Kris Benson.

Win it for William Penn. A Phillies hat looks really good on that statue.

And finally, win it for me. I need this. I need to know it can happen. This window is going to close before you know it. And if it does...if it does...I'll still be there.

Preliminary Verdict- Field Position

The Bears scored three touchdowns tonight. The lenght of these drives-59, 60, and 24 yards. The offense did not have the consistency necessary to move the ball enough to win the field position battle. Blame the run game, blame the recievers, blame whomever.

The papers will talk about the goaline stand, but field position carried the day. That and DeSean Jackson's terrible dropped punt.

Dear 610 WIP: You're Retarded.

Heard this morning on 610, spoken by Angelo Cataldi (paraphrase) "I don't know about Cole Hamels. He seems like a California boy, a little soft. I don't know if I want him pitching Sunday, if it comes down to that."

Now, we all know Angelo is a moron. I've come to believe (hope) that the Angelo we hear on the radio is a character he plays up as a reactionary, overemotional Philly fan. Otherwise, he's a big tranny with frontal lobe problems. And by that I mean his brain.

Let's leave out for a second the fact that there is no one else on the team you'd rather have pitcher in this situation. Save that Brett Myers stuff for someone else. He's a wackjob, and he's gotten shelled his last two starts.

Cole Hamels is the best pitcher on your team. He's one of the best pitchers in the NL. I'm no stats geek, but the way this is often determined is by using a stat called ERA+. This stat shows how good a pitcher's ERA is above average in that league, and makes adjustments for parks, etc. Average ERA+ is 100. Higher than 100 is good, lower is bad. (all stats courtesy of baseball-reference.com).

Cole Hamels' ERA+ is 145, good for fifth in the NL. His ERA is 3.09, good for sixth in the league. He leads the league in innings pitched and starts made. He goes seven innings every time he takes the ball. He's fourth in the league in strikeout to walk ratio. HE LEADS THE LEAGUE IN WHIP.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Easy LoveTron. Settle down. The point, simply put, is this; Elite athletes oftentimes leave Philly because of unfair criticism. Cole Hamels is one of BEST PITCHERS IN THE MOTHEREFFING GAME OF BASEBALL AND OUR SPORTS RADIO HOST DOESN'T WANT HIM PITCHING A GAME TO GET INTO THE PLAYOFFS BECAUSE HE'S FROM CALIFORNIA.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Who Wants Jim Leyland Now?

Much ado has been made in the past that the Phillies picked the affable, pot bellied, national league challenged Charlie Manuel as their skipper back in 2005. Many people did not like this choice, instead wanting Jim Leyland, the chain smoking national league genius. Leyland, of course, quickly paid dividends for The Tigers in 2006, taking them to the World Series. As we all know, the Tigers lost to the St. Louis Cardinals in five games, allowing the Cardinals to become the worst team to ever win a World Series (83 wins). No time to go over fielding bunts in Spring Training, apparently.

Since that time, the Tigers have not played to their potential. Despite the addition of several big ticket free agents, the Tigers have been haunted by the onset of age in their older roster, a bullpen that has never performed the same as 2006, and the haunting feeling that 2006 might have just been lightning in a bottle, and the Tigers simply aren't as good as we (and they) thought they were. And maybe Zumaya's obsession with Guitar Hero.

Conversely, since 2006, the Phillies appeared in their first postseason in 14 years (and were quickly swept out). They are in place to make the playoffs again this year. Uncle Chuck has adeptly managed this team through various injuries, starting pitching woes, and a lineup that is consistently hitting worse than they did last year, from Howard and Utley to Rollins and Ruiz.

Since 2005, Charlie Manuel has gone 351-294 as the Phillies' manager, for a 54.4 winning %. In one less season, Jim Leyland has gone 255-227, for a 52.9 winning %. More wins, more playoff appearances (hopefully), same number of championships. So Why did we want Leyland again?

------------------------------------------------------------------
Gavin Floyd Update: Basically, he'd still be your #2 starter at this point.

Pitcher Record(Starts) ERA (ERA+)
Gavin Floyd 16-8(31) 3.84(119)
*********************************************
Phillies Starting Pitchers
Cole Hamels 14-10(33) 3.09(145)
Joe Blanton 8-12(32) 4.79(87)*
Jamie Moyer 15-7(32) 3.78(118)
Kyle Kendrick 11-9 (30) 5.46(82)**
Adam Eaton 4-8(21) 5.80(77)***
Brett Myers 10-13(30) 4.55(98)

* Stats using both AL and NL numbers for this year.
**I know he doesn't start anymore.
***I know he doesn't start anymore either. Does not include minor league numbers.

Lost Opportunities

I know what you're thinking about right now. You're thinking about a particularly leggy blonde you met at the bar recently. She's just the right height, just the right look, and just the right amount of bitchiness. She swears, drinks hard alcohol, is dressed a little to trashy for the current establishment, and smokes a couple of cigarettes a day. You're thinking, all systems go.

Then something happens. Maybe you spill your drink on yourself. Maybe your hairpiece falls off. Maybe her fat friend shows up. But, most likely, you do something to F it all up.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Philadelphia Phillies.

Much like the above discussed bar tramp (I've decided she's a divorcee in her early thirties), the NL East is there for the taking. But not for your Phils. In case you haven't heard, the Phils got blown out by the Braves on a night when the Mets choked away a four-run lead. A win there would have pushed their lead in the NL East to 2.5 with 3 to play (four for the Mets).

"Hello? Phillies? This is opportunity. Yeah, I've been standing here a while. Oh. Busy? Ok, I'll come back later, maybe."

Sooner or later this team - which has been on a tear - has got to reach out and grab destiny by the short and curlies. Until then, they're going to be a poor man's version of the Mid-90s Cleveland Indians-a great show, but no championships.

Who feels great about a rotation of Hamels, Myers, and Moyer in the postseason now?

Stick a Fork in Him

Let me just get this out of the way up front. I love Brian Dawkins. I love him a wierd, brotherly kind of way. If he showed up at my house around dinner time, I would just set him a place at the table and not ask him football-related questions. We would discuss awesome things, like how he likes Wolverine, and why he kept wearing shirt sleeves on his head with "B-Dawk" and "Weapon-X" written on them with a sharpie. I think we would be friends.

The man is done. It's time for him to hang them up.

I don't put the blame on him for the T.O. goaline catch against the Cowboys. T.O. scores off that pattern if he's single covered by anybody. But I've noticed some things in the last two years.

I trace them back to the 2006 season, also known as the "Finally We have an Undersized, Undertalented, White Quarterback Who's Fiery," season with Jeff Garcia. Dawk had a foot injury nearly that entire year, walking around in a boot during the week and playing on Sunday. He also played completely out of his mind, both in coverage and run support. He made plays on the ball, delivered hits, and always came through for a team that, quite frankly, wasn't very good.

But that greatness came at a cost. Much like Celtics great Kevin McHale, playing with that quasi-undisclosed foot injury had long-term repercussions. He showed signs of losing a step in 2007, small things. We all remember that great hog-tie tackle of a Giants RB near the goaline last year...but the reason that play was necessary was Dawk got beat to the edge. He was in position, He read the play, he just couldn't get there.

Last week, the Cowboys passing game exposed both Dawkins and Consedine. This week against the Steelers, Dawk made some great plays...blitzing. Dawk was around the line of scrimmage on passing downs. D-Coordinator Jim Johnson is covering up for him, keeping his weaknesses from being exposed.

Dawkins makes great plays on the ball, and is the best blitzer from the secondary I have ever seen. But, like all great things, his time appears to be coming to an end. After the season, I think he and the Eagles should have a talk. He's been the heart of this franchise since the Ray Rhodes era, but the time has come to close this chapter in his life.

Okay, Deep Breaths, Please

Your Phightins are 1.5 up with 4 to play. (The Mets have 5 left). The Birds are 2-1, which ties them for last in the division-or third, if you're a glass-half- full kind of person.

Phils: Looking good. From where I sit, they need to win two of these last four to win the division, preferably three. The Nationals, for whatever reason, play the Phils tough, and they're in town for the last three games of the season. In other words, let's win tonight, huh Brett?

Eagles: I don't know about this team. I have serious reservations about the pass defense and pass rushing. Here's a quick breakdown of the last two games.

Dallas-good offensive line. No sacks. Pass Defense shredded. Loss.

Pittsburgh-terrible offensive line. 9 sacks, 4 more tackles of the QB for short gain. Defense only gives up 6 points. Win.

Not hard to figure out. When we play a team with a good O-line, we lose. When we play a team with a bad O-line, we win. That makes this team mediocre. Injuries to McNabb and Westbrook are troubling, as is LJ Smith's consistent lack of ballsiness.

Eagles stock: Down.

Phillies stock: Up.

Crazed Senior Accused of Robbery at Linc

To all the naysayers and those who would have Brian Dawkins written of because of his age, suck a fat one. Without even looking at every FS in the league I can confidently say that B Dawk is top 3. Ed Reed is the only one I can think of on his level. # 20 never should have been T.O. last Monday and his amazing play on "Ben" yesterday proved that "Weapon X" is indeed alive and well. When all in said and done, Dawkins should go down as a top 10 talent in Philly sports history. In the mean time, I will be sure to enjoy every moment of his play, even if he's eligible for Social Security in 3 years. During yesterday's game clinching play ( it was, face it), I shouted " Is he old now?" at the TV while doing several of B Dawk's famed moves. Am I a little off? Yes, but that's a topic for a different time. I am just chalking it up to extreme excitement because the "old man" showed a young kid what it's like to play in the NFL in Philly, home of the best fans in the NFL.

Birds/ Dallas Diary

8:20 PM: Ten minutes until game time. I am already tired of all of the Romo/Jessica Simpson talk. She's a cover up, what a queer.

8:23 PM: The Eagles Pre-game crew is ripping on Jessica Simpson. It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

8:26 PM: What's the over/under for Romo/Simpson and T.O/McNabb references tonight? I am going with 7.5. I am taking the over, the Rook has the under.

8:29 PM: Keyshawn, Chris Berman, you get my approval for picking the Birds to win. Cris Carter, Stu Scott and Tom Jackson, you go to hell. You go to hell and you die.

8:30 PM: The Rook gets things rolling by cracking on Kornheiser's comb over. He needs to cut that thing before he gets mistaken for Donald Trump.

8:32 PM: The fact that Ron Jaworski is prominently involved with tonight's broadcast makes me feel all warm inside. It's either that or the Sam Adams Octoberfest. Westbrook is getting prepared to Marshall Faulk. Hopefully this refers to his on-field expliots and not his guest spots on Arli$$.

8:34 PM: First commercial break just came and I have already called T.O. many horrible things that would upset my Grandmother if she weren't a die-hard Birds fan too.

8:37 PM: A 2 minute lovefest for Jerry Jones jsut wrapped up. Remember kids, if you are a redneck, sleep with your sister and sign a bunch of convicted felons, you too can be considered a good NFL owner.

8:39 PM: Hank Williams kicks it off with a Mexican-themed MNF song. It just never gets old, not matter how bad it may be.

8:41 PM: You fear Demps. You kick out of bounds. Tra Thomas jsut did some crazy dance. I am so hyped.

8:43 PM: I have a man crush on Brian Westbrook. First down Birds. 14 yard gain on 2nd and 10.


8:44 PM: Completion to Celek. FIRST DOWN!!!! Great job by JJ on the block.

8:45 PM: Compared to Super 5's eloquent delivery, Marcus Spears sound like Rain Man. He makes sure to not not to call Pac Man by his nickname.

8:47 PM: DeSean never had control. Call it growing pains young man. It's ok. 3 points, 7 would be better, but I'll take it.

8:49 PM: I am so confused. A commercial with a little kid speaking Spanish while wearing Giants gear just aired.I can't make fun of a kid so I will just scold his parents for allowing him to wear that.

8:50 PM: Decent Felix Jones return negated by a holding call. The lesson as always is that the Cowboys can keep their hands off of men.

8:52 PM: My buddy just texted and referred to DeSean as " D Jax". I like it.

8:54 pM: Sheldon just did a crazy ninja tackle on T.O. Bad news is, Owens caught it.

8:55 PM: Nice limp wristed flick by Romo. What a Mary Jane.

8:56 PM: 72 yard TD to T.O.. Considine must die.

9:00 PM: I don't think I have ever gone from loving a football player to hating him as badly as I hate T.O. He is a no good c********r. Fill in the blanks.

9:03 PM: G-LEW!!! G-LEW!!! He looks just like the rapper Redman. Seriously, Google image it.

9:06 PM: Brian Westbrook is so good. Barry Sanders and Brian Westbrook. The two best backs I have seen.

9:07 Pm: They call him Pac Man, everyone knows his name. Buck drops it.

9:08 PM: D Mac skips it to B West. Damn right your bad 5. Akers makes it 7-6. I don't like the clean shaven look for David. I hope he doesn't read this, I don't need a judo chop.

9:12 PM: I didn't like this Felix Jones kid before this.

9:14 PM: 5 needs to man up right now.

9:16 Pm: Nice no-call on the facemask ref.

9:19 PM: I still don't like the Samuel signing. Effing right anyway son.

9:21 PM Yeah, G Lew had some jersey but Newman was all up in his crease.

9:24 Pm:Freakin' Klecko. I love Westbrook. 14-13. No 2 pt?

9:28 PM: Jones ain't so good now is he?

9:30 PM: I just did a silent TD dance. WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I hope Romo doesn't grip Jessica like that.

9: 49-9:52 PM: DeSean Jackson, you stupid mother. You're lucky the Cowboys didn't pick that up now. Westbrook bailed you out and you better apologize your @ss off tonight. You cocky, stupid motherf**ker.

9:55 PM: Cry about that, T.O. Holding!!!!! Ok, I have nothing else.

9:57 PM: Wonderful stand by the Birds. Make up for your dumb play #10. Or not. 9 yards.

10:02 PM: Jackson catches a nice ball. I call him more names. It's going to take a lot for me to get over this. You're not bigger than the team young man.

10:04 PM: Horrible overthrow by Nabby. Oh!! What's that?!?! Penalty!!! GO BIRDS.

10:07 PM: Vintage McNabb.

10:12 PM: Donovan needed that. He got hit and he got up fine. My man. Super 5.

10:25 Pm: I read something horrible during halftime. Nate Dogg, yes that Nate Dogg, had suffered his second stroke in 10 months. Nate is the man, best of luck in your recovery.

10:35 Pm: Get a little pressure on Romo, have the best FS in the game pop the WR. Brian Dawkins baby. My favorite Eagle ever.

10:36 PM: Mr. Power's Top 5 Favorite Eagles: 1. B Dawk 2. Freddie Barnett 3. McNabb 4. Westbrook 5. James Joseph 5A. Andy Harmon

10:40 PM: Re-kick. This just in: Great game.

10:42 PM: DeSean Jackson really angers me. Pacman just stabbed someone on his punt return. He makes it rain.

10:45 PM: Jaws is comparing Romo to Brady. Let's see, they are both gay, both wear similiar colors, both date " hot chicks". I guess we are 3 for 3.

10:47 PM: I just called Asante Samuel by the name Joselio Hanson. If I call him Duce Staley I am quitting drinking for good.

10:49 PM: Horseflop call on Cole. turns into a big Barber run.

10:53 PM: Bradley should have made Barber buy him dinner first.

11:02 PM: "Hey, let's all suck on Zach Thomas' balls becaue his arm got in the way of a pass that his back was turned to!!"

11:04 PM :Farve...blah blah...FACE MASK..Birds should have run a play

11:07 PM: This timeout brought to you by On-Cor Chicken Parm. G-LEW.

11:08 PM: WEST-BROOK.

11:13 PM: Salt and Vinegar chips, beer and Wheat Thins. Hangioer prevention has begun.

11:20 PM: Bad guys get a FG. Demps with a nice return.

11:34 PM: BS pass interference call. TD Dallas.

11:45-11:150 PM: Gonna vom......

11:54 PM:...........

Random Thoughts

I am wearing a torn short sleeve on my head trying to be like Brian Dawkins. I am sitting here trying to calm myself because my wife is pregnant and trying to sleep in the other room. My brother in law and I are compiling our top 5 hated Cowboys ( Irvin, T.O., Aikman, Deion and Roy Williams). Most of my work day was spent talking up this game. I told a Dallas fan that I work with that T.O. and Romo enjoy each other's compan ya little too much. The Birds record this year should be 13-3. A little high you say? **** YOU. I'm tired of all the McNabb and Reid haters. Where would the Birds be without them? DeSean Jackson is the shit. Give Romo WRs like Pinkston,Thrash, Reggie Brown and Jabar Gaffney and see how good he is. 24-13 Birds is the call. I may do a diary, I'm not sure yet. Lastly, is it wrong for me to hope my child's first words are " DALLAS SUCKS"? GO BIRDS.

So This Is What Having a WR is Like....

What's that? We've got a reciever who catches with his hands, and in traffic? Who actually looks like he belongs in the NFL? And we drafted this guy? Consider this the first meeting of the DeSean Jackson Fan Club.

Phillies Heart Braves: Nationals Next

Somehow, the Phillies survived a series in which Hamels gave up 9 runs (4 earned) and in which Adam Eaton pitched...twice. But now Eaton is headed for the minors, possibly for J.A. Happ, and the Phillies...are headed for sexytown.

And by that I mean Washington DC, for a three game get well series with the Nats. For the Phils to make an impression on us that they're serious about the postseason, a three game sweep is a must. The opportunity is there. First, on Tuesday we face a pitcher who's almost as bad as Myers (Balester, 5.75 ERA). Second, it's the Nationals. Come on. Their best player, Nick Johnson, is out for the year. Second best player, Dmitri Young is out with diabetes indefinitely. It just goes down from there, and not in a good way.

It's time to start beating up on lesser teams, the way only the Phils can. So long as they don't start any lefties.