Thursday, July 2, 2009

You Never Close Your Eyes Anymore When I Kiss Your Lips...

Your Phightin' Phils got TWO HIT last night by Jagggr Jurrrrrgens and the Atlanta Braves. Go back and read that last sentence again. Amazingly, they managed to score a run, but did so without a hit. Werth walked, advanced to third when Jurrrrrgennnnz threw the ball away trying to pick him off, and scored from third on the weakest sac fly I've seen since I stopped drinking at Little League games.

Jimmy Rollins. Oh Jimmy. You used to be my favorite, so slick with the glove. But now you're 0-8 with in this series and 0 for your last 27. If the magic isn't gone, it's draining quickly.

Cole Hamels is more troubling. He have up seven earned runs last night in 4+ innings, raising his ERA to 4.98 for the season. He's also been having trouble all year with pitch counts. I've notice that teams are fouling off a lot of pitches against him, most of which were swing-and-misses in the past. To me, that says his stuff just isn't quite as nasty. It'll be interesting to see how he bounces back next start.

In conclusion, f$#$@&!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Series Recap: Phils - Blue Jays

Hey! Guess what! Jimmy Rollins sat for this whole series, mainly because Uncle Chuck finally figured out that having your leadoff hitter batting .211 with a .254 on base percentage is generally bad for business. And the Phillies' business is scoring runs.

For those of you new to this team, the Phillies do NOT win when they score less than four runs. It does not happen. If, in some bizarre future, you turn on the tube and the phillies are up 3-0 in the bottom of the ninth, turn off the television. Because they will lose.

The phils last five wins: 5-4, 10-0, 10-1, 11-6, 6-3. We need to score runs, people.

Series Recap: Whoo! we finally take a series! Despite choking on it all through interleague play, the phils are now three games up on the Mets.

The Good: J.A. Happ. I love it when a guy comes up does well his first several games, and he's crowned the next great Phillies Pitcher. There was only one great Phillies Pitcher-Steve Carlton. And he's dead. (Ed. Note - Steve Carlton not actually dead.)

I wish you well, Happ, but you'll find that Major Leaguers pick up that 91 mph fastball a little better the second time around.

The Bad: Brad Lidge. I know he got the save, but that knee is not all the way back. If it's not back by now, folks, it's not coming back. Not this season.

The Hero: Jamie Moyer. He only gave up four runs in five innings! What progress! Did you guys know we get to watch him next year, too? Jamie Moyer also tied Bob Gibson for career victories, which is the last time the two of them will be mentioned in the same sentence.

The Goat: John McDonald. He was put in as a pinch runner, then somehow got caught in a rundown off second base, practically awarding Lidge the save when he had looked very shaky. John Mcdonald, the manager would like to see you. No, change out of your uniform first.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Uncle. We'll Start Writing Again.

I hope you're happy, Phillies.

The authors of this little escapade started writing because we were so fed up with the Philadelphia sports scene. We started writing in baseball season, and although I fancy myself a football fan first and foremost, the frequency and depth of our posts followed the Phillies' season. Simply put, if they're not losing, we're not writing.

Then a funny thing happened. The Phils started winning. All the time. There's no need for the cathartic angst spray of a blog post after a World Championship. We were satiated. We were...happy.

Happy = no writing. A remarkable Eagles season came. I wrote about how Dawkins was washed up, then he had one of the best and most inspiring seasons of his career. McNabb played ok, got benched, then played out of his mind. DeSean Jackson is the first legit WR we've had since Fred Barnett. The Flyers made the playoffs. The Sixers made the playoffs. This has been a great season for Philly sports. Our collective reaction: eh. We were still in the fuzzy afterglow, all fattened up on winning.

However, the Phils' recent slide, and lacksadaisical play, has reignited some of the embers in my cold heart. Jimmy Rollins is two years removed from his BS MVP year, and refuses to hit line drives-but the man still plays the best SS in the National League. Jason Werth is batting .250, and looking worse. The whole team plays like a bunch a wimps all the sudden. And it's despicable.

It's horrendous. It's an affront to the best fans in the world, who pay good money to watch them suck. And I, well, I just can't take this anymore.

We're back, bitches.

Monday, April 13, 2009


I had a bunch of family over today when my aunt got a call from my uncle that Harry Kalas had been found passed out in the booth in Washington. We turned on Comcast Sportsnet for updates and shortly saw the unthinkable headline " HARRY KALAS PASSES AWAY". My family and I sat in stunned silence while we heard all of the details. I watched the ring ceremony with my son on Wednesday and said to my wife, " I'm going to cry like a baby when he dies". It was a matter of fact statement, because the older Harry got, you knew it was inevitable. I never thought it would happen this soon.

When someone dies, you try to put a positive spin on it and this is no different. I'm glad that he saw his beloved Phillies win the World Series last year, got to make the call and throw out the first pitch at the ring ceremony. He died in the booth, no doubt prepping himself to call the game that he loved since he was a 10 year old with a dream. His voice got me through tough years with the Phillies and was great background noise even if you weren't watching the game. I remember watching a Phillies/Marlins game circa 1993 while I was doing my homework and hearing Harry's distinct " OUTTA HERE" call. It mad me sad today seeing the Phillies hit home runs and not hearing his great voice making the call. Harry may be gone from this Earth but the countless memories that he both called and provided will never be "outta here". I hope he's up havign a drink with his buddy Whitey right now and laughing every time the Phillies hit another homerun. OUTTA HERE indeed Harry. Rest in peace.

Monday, March 23, 2009

23 Years, No Regrets

According to his blog at, Curt Schilling is walking away. He was an accomplished starter, an animal in the postseason, and one of the top 2 or 3 big game pitchers of his era. Despite a mere 216 career wins (thanks, Phils!), he had a postseason ERA 2.23, going 11-2 in October in 19 starts, with 4 complete games. From 1999-2003, Beast was spelled S-C-H-I-L-L-I-N-G. The man pitched in Philly for the better part of nine seasons and walks away with three rings. Respect.

I believe the Hall of Fame can, and should, be in his future.

He was also an outspoken critic of steroids and steriod users at a time when other players closed ranks and shut up. Remember Tejada's B12 injections? Sammy Sosa forgetting how to speak English? Big Mac not wanting to talk about the past? Schilling called them all out on it, said they were cheaters, said they were full of it.

According to his post, he's got zero regrets.

Except for, you know, being a huge d-bag.

Need a teammate to put a towel over his head while you save the game? Go to Schill. Need a guy to trash an entire city to force his trade for 25 cents on the dollar? Go to Schill. Need a guy to offer unsolicited advice, half-formed opinions, and general nonsense? Go to Schill.

Let's just say I'm not sad to see him go. Pass me the Haterade on Curt Schilling.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Running Down the Dream: Phils Offseason Moves

In this first installment, we'll look at who came and who left. We'll save all the contract extensions for another post. Moves rated as "Boo," "Eh," or "High Five!"

Who left:

Pat Burrell: Verdict: Eh. Tough to get excited about this one. Pat takes his .250 batting average and robust walkability down to Tampa, where the DH role suits his physical abilities better than left field. Of course, a lot of things suit Pat the Bat better than playing the field; try anything that doesn't involve running.

Adam Eaton. Verdict: High Five! He was a mistake when the Phils drafted him in 1996, and he was a mistake ten years later when they signed him to a three year, 25 million dollar contract. The Phils released him today, but are still on the hook for his approx. 8.5 million dollar salary, plus a $500,000 buyout of a club option next year. Interesting how that world championship absolves Gillick of this atrocious signing.

Who's New:

Raul Ibanez. Verdict: Eh. Signing Ibanez as Burrell's replacement in Left would be a wash - if Ibanez batted righty. Since he bats lefty, that puts 3 lefthanded bats in a row in the middle of our lineup. Amaro pointed out that Ibanez batted over .300 against lefties last year. What Amaro fails to mention is that from 2006-2008, Ibanez batted .269 against lefties. And he strikes out 100 times a year, like everyone else on this team. And the man's 37, so we signed him to a three year, 31 million dollar deal. This is not going to end well. But the name "Raul" is kinda fun.

Manny Ramirez: Verdict: high five! locking up the most dangerous line drive hitter of his generation with a relatively meager two year, $47 million dollar deal could be the move that puts this group over the top in their bid to repeat. Batting between Utley and Howard, Ramirez protects both lefties, and is poised to...what's that? we signed the guy from the Mariners instead, even though he's just as old? Crap.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Does This Look Familiar?

Are the 2008 Brewers the 2007 Phillies?

2008 Phillies, meet your 2007 dopplegangers. A team that goes on a run down the stretch to make the playoffs for the first time in a long time? Check. Dominant starting pitcher in the regular season who loses his playoff start? Check. General "Just Happy to Be Here" Attitude? Check. High-scoring, HR-based offense that disappeared in the postseason? Check.

In the playoffs, you need someone to step up besides your all stars. Enter Shane Victorino and Jason Werth. We know them well, but they're far from household names. First four times these two got to the plate resulted in 3 doubles and a Grand Slam. That's a good day.

Charlie Manuel also got props from the announcers for switching Victorino and Werth in the lineup. Werth went on to get two doubles in the game. Of course, Utley and Howard are a combined 1-8 in the series, which is keeping me up at night. Unfortunately, that's not a joke.

The Good: Victorino, Myers, Werth, Feliz. It was a righties day at the ballpark. Lidge needed only 12 pitches to record his second save of the postseason. Maybe Mitch Williams was right, and Lidge was too well rested for his pitches to be effective. Maybe Milwaukee has already given up on this series. Maybe this was the one-game quiet before the Lidge-implosion storm. I'll take it.

The Bad: Myers first inning, in which he had the bases loaded with one out and got a miracle double play ball. Wow. That could have been a lot worse. Kudos to Myers for shaking it off and pitching a good game. Myers also walked in a run, which is generally frowned upon in baseball circles.

The Hero: Shane Victorino. A Grand Slam off of the unhittable CC Sabathia in the playoffs? If you made it up, no one would believe you. Runner up to Brett Myers. 7 strong innings, gave up only 2 runs.

The Goat: CC Sabathia. He struggled with his location (and the umpire's strike zone) all day, only lasting 3 2/3 innings and throwing 98 pitches. Of course, he single-handedly got Milwaukee here. This was his fourth consecutive start in three days rest.

The Take-Away Point: This Phillies team is for real. Now, if we can only get Utley and Howard to start hitting, and if we face the Dodgers in the NLCS...