Phillies Series Recap-Phils beat Nationals 2 games to 1

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Dizz-am, I wish someone would set a Phils Recap to quotes from the crap-tastic Stallone movie "Cobra." Consider it done.
Supermarket Killer: Get back! I got a bomb here! I'll blow this whole place up!
Marion Cobretti: Go ahead. I don't shop here.

Cole Hamels is good. He hasn't given up a run in 19 innings. Of course, he got a no-decision in game 2 of this series, since we decided to stop scoring runs, despite 7 innings of shutout, four hit baseball from Messr. Hamels.

Marion Cobretti: All right, just relax, Amigo. You wanna talk - we'll talk. I'm a sucker for great conversation.
Supermarket Killer: [shouting] I don't wanna talk to you! Now you bring in the television cameras in here now! C'mon, bring 'em in!
Marion Cobretti: Can't do that.
Supermarket Killer: Why?
Marion Cobretti: I don't deal with psychos. I put them away.

Ryan Howard! yay! he's hit five homeruns in his last 8 games to raise his average to .195. And yes, I'm celebrating because a former MVP is batting .195. It sure beats the .171 he was batting ten days ago, doesn't it?

Marion Cobretti: [shakes his head] You're a disease - and I'm the cure.

This one should be about Hamels. but why not Jamie Moyer? Six innings of shutout ball, throwing mainly and 82 mph heater. I love it. It's so beautiful, yet so crappy; maybe the other way around. Just like this movie.

Ingrid: Do you ever get involved?
Cobretti: With a woman?

This is for all those players with "tremendous upsides" playing for the Nats. Lastings Milledge - batting .241. Wily Mo Pena - batting .220. Elijah Dukes- batting .067. How's that working so far? Even Ryan Zimmerman, whom I feel is legit, is only batting .256. Ugh.

At this point, Wily Mo Pena is baseball's Kwame Brown-he looks like a player, he walks like a player, he talks like a player, but he doesn't ball like a player.

Night Slasher: You want to go to hell? Huh, pig? You want to go to hell with me? It doesn't matter, does it? We are the hunters. We kill the weak so the strong survive. You can't stop the New World. Your filthy society will never get rid of people like us. It's breeding them! WE ARE THE FUTURE!
Marion Cobretti: No! [aims his gun]
Marion Cobretti: You're history.

This one's for Uncle Chuck. Remember how this team sticks together and rides out bad streaks now. Sometime in July, we'll be calling for his head after a botched double switch or infield alignment. But for now, he's got a team with little starting pitching, two MVPs that haven't performed because of injury or (whatever we're calling whats wrong with Howard), and this team is 1.5 games out. Credit where credit is due.

Let's Play GM: Cole Hamels

Cole Hamels is 5-3 with a 2.89 ERA this year. For his career, he's 29-16 with a 3.54 ERA in 60 starts. He's 24 years old, and can't become a free agent until 2012. Last night, he threw his first career shutout, going 9 innings and only giving up 4 hits.

Consensus is, this guy's pretty good. So the smart thing to do would be to sign him now to a deal around 6 years, which will buy out his first two years of free agency, right?

Well, kinda.

Think about it like this. You're dating a certain young lady. She's an overall solid performer. Looks nice, doesn't embarass you in public, occasionally shuts up, and you're wondering if you should lock her down for the long term. The problem is, she occassionaly gets "injured" and can't perform at the high level you've come to expect. You're concerned that once you lock her down to a long term deal, it'll take away all her motivation to continue to strive to that All-Star level. It's a tough one. Let's break it down.

The Bad. Pat Burell. he's played well the past two years, but he was granted a similar package after he had a stellar second-year campaign in which he was decribed as possibly becoming "the right handed Barry Bonds." So while he's played well, he hasn't quite lived up to that moniker. I'm think Heather Locklear here. Fine lady, sure she is. Then why is she always a free agent? Why David Spade? Why, why, why?

The Good: Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley. How great does Utley's 7 year 85 million dollar contract look now? Utley was in a similar situation after 2 year's service, and the phils bought out the rest of his arbitration years and the first few free agent years. Rollins is signed through 2011 with what amounts to a six-year, 46.6 million dollar deal (That includes a club option, but I'm pretty sure the Phils will pay him 8.5 million to play in 2011). Think of Candace Cameron and Jennie Finch.

Candace Cameron played DJ Tanner on full house, married Valeri Bure (oops, wrong Bure!) and is now pretty much a full time homemaker.

Jennie Finch was/is a softball pitcher for the Arizona Wildcats and Team USA. She amassed over 1,000 strikouts in her college career and won three gold medals. She also married pitcher Casey Daigle of the Minnesota Twins, or somewhere. He hasn't pitched in the majors since 2006.

The Rest: Hamels has a history of injury problems, including a degenerative condition in his back, elbow problems last year, and breaking his throwing hand in a bar fight. He's also a pitcher, and while starting pitchers are valuable, they are also notoriously injury-prone. I'm thinking Jessica Alba here. Good measurements, suspect intangibles. A Wait-and-see approach is advised.

So what do we think, Phils Phans? lock him up?

Stock Market Watch: Local Teams

It's the dawning of a new weekly feature her at YCLTA (wow, that doesn't work), the Stock Market Watch, where we track local teams, players, and stories. Enjoy.

Andy Reid: up 10 points. He's on the rise because of his recent candid interview with Angelo Cataldi on 610 WIP. However, he's got a definite ceiling because a) he refuses to run the football b) he and his coaching staff can't make halftime adjustments and c) he seems hell bent on alienating the best quarterback this phranchise has ever had. Keep away, he's due for a fall.

Chase Utley: up 4,000 points. on the rise because of carrying the Phillies for the month of April. On the downside, he seems kinda like a hippy. He also seems like he could show up at a sorority house and hit for the cycle. He's the complete package. Buy, but watch with caution.

Pat Burrell: Even. He's coming back down to earth from his .340 batting average. He'll strike out, but he's got a great eye at the plate, which will ensure that his OBP stays high throughout the year, giving the batters behind him opportunities to drive in runs. What's that? Pedro Feliz bats behind him? Oh. Nevermind.

Kevin Everett: Steady. You might remember him as the Bill's TE who broke his neck last season and was paralyzed. He was released by the Bills today, which gives him the opportunity to seek disability payments from the NFL of over 200k per year for as long as he's disabled. Considering he broke his neck, it's going to be awhile.

On a side note, Everett was recently awarded the Halas trophy, given to the NFL player who overcomes adversity. Now, don't get me wrong, but what adversity has this guy overcome, exactly? He broke his neck making 400k a year. He went from being a phenomenal athlete to a guy that can walk and talk, but has trouble using silverware. Seems like adversity kicked his ass. If it was the Halas trophy for getting your ass kicked with dignity, then yeah, it's his.

Sixers: Up 1.5 points. They got booted from the first round of the playoffs, but they won two games, and we were forced to recognize their existence post A.I. Buy and hold, but don't put the kid's college fund in there.

Flyers: Down 3 points. They've had a good run, but losing two defensemen in a series where those defensemen probably weren't going to be good enough...well, it doesn't look good. All other rational analysis aside, the Pens are just better.

Ryan Howard: Up .00000000001 points. He's got a hit in his last four games, upping his average to .171. That's the good news. The bad? His average is .171.

Pass the Haterade on...Hippies

I decided a couple weeks ago that I'm going to stop writing when I'm upset, or angry. Unfortunately, given the nature of this site and the sports teams I follow, that's not going to be possible. Instead, I'll issue the following warning:

(The Following Message Was Written While the Author Was Under the Influence of Seething Rage)

and we'll all understand each other. That being said, let's move on.

For those of you who don't know, a shooting occurred outside of the club "Playmakers" here in Philly, which Marvin Harrison owns, on April 29. From bullet casings recovered from the scene, police have found that a gun Harrison owns was involved in the shooting. A man was shot through the hand right after getting into a fight with Harrison. The man who was shot has refused to identify the shooter. The gun was later found inside a garage/detail shop that Harrison owns. To date, Harrison has not been charged with anything.

This doesn't stop some people from jumping to their own conclusions. (A particularly good rebuttal of these has been done at Kissing Suzy Kolber). It doesn't take long to see where these articles are going. I expected this from some media members, but not SalPal, surely he wouldn't...

"The guns bullets were advertised as being able to penetrate...listen to this...48 layers of kevlar [armor] at 50 meters. Now who wears kevlar other than police officers? This gun is designed to be a cop killer."-SalPal, on Mike and Mike in the Morning, found here.

OF COURSE the gun's makers advertised that it was a powerful handgun! Do you expect a gunmaker to say, "Yeah, we've got this little cute pistol here, can't do much more than dent a wet paper bag at 50 feet, but ain't she purty?" An advertisement for a weapon (actually the weapon's armor piercing ammunition) doesn't automatically give some license to discern the intent of the manufacturer. Unless, maybe 1) you don't know dick about guns, 2) you're trying to sensationalize a story, and 3) you're looking to impugn a man's character. For instance, other guns that can pierce kevlar include: just about every hunting rifle ever made.

To put SalPal's response in perspective let's put his comments in a different context, using the following formula:
Advertisement+Word association game (kevlar::cops)+Negative assumption based on the Word Association, using inflammatory language

"The Corvette's been advertised to go 0-60 in...listen to this...4.28 seconds, on the pavement. Now who else is on the pavement but mothers pushing their babies in a stroller? This car is designed to be a baby killer." Reductio ad absurdem? Absolutely, but the point stands.

Marvin Harrison owns a handgun. This handgun, when properly equipped, is capable of piercing kevlar vests at a certain range. Policemen wear kevlar vests. Marvin Harrison is an athlete. However, these factors do NOT make Marvin Harrison a cop killer.

I understand that the people inhabiting newsrooms all over the country are not demographically inclined to like guns. Newsies make love, not war. Peace, love, dope. I get it. Fine. Reasonable people can disagree about the handgun's place in modern urban society.

What we're seeing here is people transferring their own ideas about guns, athletes, and minorities onto this situation. The simple fact that we just don't know what happened outside Playmakers that night maybe isn't enough for these folks. "Guns! Black Men! Black Men with Guns! Must be Cop Killers!"

I mean, isn't there at least one columnist who's willing to withold judgment, both implicit and explicit? Who's willing to forsake a cheap headline? Thank you, Bob Kravitz. You're a saint.

What we're seeing in this situation is reminiscent of the Sean Taylor situation last year, when the national media basically blamed Taylor for getting shot in his own house during a botched robbery.

To be clear, Marvin Harrison is his own man. He might have done something wrong in this situation. He might have done something illegal in this situation. At this point, we don't know. To infer his guilt from gun ownership is wrong, and to print such things in full view of his family and loved ones is criminal.

Phils Recap: Don't Stop Believing

To the left is a picture on the "Man or Machine?" T-shirts that have been going around.

"Money won is better than money earned." Fast Eddie Felson, The Color of Money.

To that I'd like to add, games stolen are a whole lot more exciting than games conventionally won. Too lengthy? I'll work on it.

Any way you slice it, The Phightins absolutely s-s-stole that game last night. Watching early, I had zero confidence in Kendrick. His one saving grace, if he has one, is that his two-seamer generates a lot of double-play balls. He must be wanting to walk all those guys, then, to set up the double play (tongue in cheek).

The Good: Kendrick's mental toughness. I like Kendrick, I like his attitude, and I like the fact that I heard someone on talk radio blame his recent struggles on that famous prank the team played on him in spring training. Ridiculous.

The Bad: Ryan Howard. Hey, big guy! It's May. Until further notice, Messr. Howard will be referred to as "The Snowman" in this space--because he's Abominable. Sounds bad, doesn't it? Bad is what he is right now, hitting .163. When Pedro Feliz is hitting 60 points higher than you, it's time to get a move on. Also, Howard is so bad--so Abominable-- in the field that he got an error charged to him for muffing a throw from Utley on a double play. For those of you that don't follow baseball, well, that almost never happens, Haley's Comet style.

The Hero: Who Else? Chase "It's My Turn Now" Utley for banging in the winning run last night. If a Triple Crown is what it's going to take for this team to win, then Utley will do just that. First runner up to Victorino for getting clotheslined going to first, then stealing second and scoring the tying run. Honorable mention to Brunty, who's been swinging the ol' stick quite nicely lately, for doubling in the tying run and scoring the winning run.

The Goat: D-backs catcher Chris Snyder, for allowing the past ball on a strikeout pitch to Victorino. Victorino hustled to first, stole second, and you know the rest.

Notes: Pat the Bat has re-entered the atmosphere and is returning to earth. After batting in the .340s for most of April, he's at .305. For those of you lacking rudimentary math skills, that's still almost DOUBLE Howard's BA.

The Gavin Floyd Fan Club

This always happens to every one's favorite Phillies blogger, yours truly. Some relatively meaningless event transpires in the world of baseball and because that same event can in someway be linked to potential mismanagement by the Phils' front office, my inbox overflows, people stop by my office, (aka my cubicle) and I'm generally bombarded with 'I told you so' statements regarding the Phillies ineptitude. Yesterday, it was Gavin Floyd. Never in my life did I believe that I would dial up my voice mail, on my office phone no less, to find an urgent voice message left for me asking how could we have let Gavin the Wonderkid go. For those of you not up to speed yet, let's quickly lay things out.

On Tuesday night, now Chicago White Sox pitcher Gavin Christopher Floyd took a no-hitter into the ninth inning against the Minnesota Twins. This came on the heels of Floyd carrying a no-no into the 8th inning versus the Detroit Tigers only weeks before. Floyd managed to record one out in the ninth on Tuesday before surrendering a double to Joe Mauer. And by the way, kudos to Nick Swisher in CF for making a diving attempt on the ball even though he was a good eight feet away from it. This outing upped Floyd's record on the season to 3-1 and lowered his ERA to 2.50, more then respectable numbers.

Now, as you'll all remember, Floyd, now 25, was once a Phillie. He was traded prior to last season along with P Gio Gonzalez to the White Sox in exchange for Freddy Garica. We all know how that acquisition turned out. The Phils paid $10 million for 1 win out of a pitcher who turns out was damaged goods upon arrival.

With this groundwork now laid, let me get to my rant. The Phillies made one mistake in that trade and that was to not ask for the medical records or medically evaluate Garcia on their own. They took the word of Chicago GM Kenny Williams at face value and they paid a steep price for it, $10 million to be exact. That was the mistake, the boo-boo, the screw-up, the brain-cramp, the severe disregard for doing your homework. The error was not in trading Gavin Floyd. It doesn't matter if Floyd throws 15 shutouts in his next 15 starts, if he makes the Hall of Fame or if he nails more women on the Maxim Hot 100 list then Derek Jeter (who apparently is at 6). Here's what people don't get.

The Phillies weren't giving up on Gavin Floyd making it; they were giving up on him making it here. Anyone who ever watched him pitch an inning for the Phils knew that he did not have the makeup to pitch in a city like ours. Say what you will about this argument not holding much water, but the examples are plentiful. Carl Pavano. Jose Contreras. And who can forget our own lovable Andy Ashby? Many players simply don't have the mental make-up to succeed in a town where every pitch is scrutinized and where you're only as good as your last start.

Floyd had his shot here. He was given every opportunity for two seasons in a row to win a job in the rotation entering spring training. In 2005, he couldn't. In 2006, he didn't but he was given the nod anyway, if for no other reason then to see what he had. The results? 5-5 in 15 starts with an ERA over 8 in those 2 years. So the Phillies dealt him. And no one blamed them at the time. Remember, even though he was hurt, Williams wasn't going to give Garcia away for nothing. Doing that would've blown his cover that Garcia was banged up.

Furthermore, it was well documented that when Chase Utley got injured last year, Williams, knowing that he had fleeced the Phils in the trade, offered somewhat of a good faith gesture by dealing us Tad Iguchi for nothing. Iguchi was going to leave Chicago after the season and the Sox had no plans in resigning him nor were they in the race for the playoffs anymore. But still, they shipped Iguchi our way with a wink and a chuckle. Literally. There is a clip of Williams coyly snickering when asked if sending Iguchi to the Phils was an apology. So if it makes you feel better, think about it this way. The Phillies traded Gavin Floyd and Gio Gonzalez for Freddy Garcia and Tad Iguchi and the Phils don't make the post-season last year without Iguchi.

Finally, this isn't the most lopsided trade in the history of baseball. This isn't Jeff Bagwell for Larry Anderson, not Scott Kazmir for Victor Zambrano, not A.J. Pierzinski for Francisco Liriano, Boof Bonser and Joe Nathan, not Babe Ruth for cash. Floyd is now 11-11 in his career with an ERA of 5.61. He couldn't strike me out. His strikeout to walk ratio is barely over 1-1. Without delving into a plethora of stats that paint the picture of Gavin's mediocrity, the point is just that. He's average. At best. And I'm not one to shed a tear over the loss of something easily replaceable.

One More Reason to Be Mad about the Freddy Garcia deal

Gavin Floyd of the Chicago White Sox flirted with a no-hitter last night, giving up a double to Joe Mauer in the 9th inning. What does this mean to you, faithful Phillies fan? THANKS FOR ASKING, I'LL TELL YOU.

This year, Mr. Floyd has an ERA of 2.50 after six starts, and a record of 3-1. Some of you might recall that Mr. Floyd was once a member of your beloved Phightins.

Gavin Floyd was the fourth overall pick in the 2001 draft by the Phillies. He recieved anunheard of --for the Phillies, anyway-- 4.2 million signing bonus. He progressed fairly well through the minor leagues, looking to be the next big Phillies Ace. (what's that? You can't think of the last big Phillies Ace?)Then he got called up.

After pitching well in spot-starting duty in 2004, Mr. Floyd proceeded to amass an ERA of 8.18 in 80 total innings in 2005-2006 (15 starts, a total of 18 appearances). This led to the inevitable conversations of general no-heartiness that occur when a player does not immediately succeed in Philadelphia. Gavin is a nibbler. Gavin doesn't challenge hitters. Gavin can't hit his spots. Gavin wears man-hose, Gavin operates an ice-cream truck in the offseason, Gavin relies too much on his curveball. I must have heard them all a thousand times.

Next comes the icing on the cake. Cranky old man Pat Gillick traded Floyd and Gio Gonzalez for Freddy Garcia before the 2007 season. Great trade for the Phils, aquiring a proven starter for two prospects.

You know the rest. Despite reports that Garcia had lost about 10mph in the last 6 months, the Phillies did not have him examined by team doctors before making the trade. Garcia cost the Phils 10 million, got one win, and had to have shoulder surgery midway through the season. (he still pitched better than Eaton). Garcia is currently a free agent, claiming to want to sign with a team that needs help about midway through the season.

Floyd, having been drafted out of high school, is still only 25 years old. He had a 5.27 ERA with the White Sox last year, and it appears as though the light has finally come on. (I'm coveniently leaving out the fact that his most comparable player according to baseball-reference.com is Blake Stein, who doesn't play baseball anymore. At least not for money. Well, that the IRS knows about. Where was I?)

In short, we gave up Floyd, a budding star, or at least possible solid starter, who's making approximately 600k this year, for Freddy Garcia, who we paid 10 million to win one game. Also, I have to believe that signing Adam Eaton factored into this equation somehow.

One one side of the scale, gavin floyd, possible stud, probable starter. On the other, an old cranky man, a torn rotator cuff, and a crapload of sour grapes. Yes, boys and girls, you CAN lose them all.

Cheers and Jeers

Cheers to my arch enemy Ryan Howard for finally coming through in the clutch. He of the .184 average and 39 SO finally played at little more like Big Papi circa 2004 and a little less like A-Rod circa forever. I'm still not in love with a HR for every 6 or 7 punchouts but maybe this is what the big fella needs to get going. Cheers are also in order for Mr. Flash Gordon ( I haven't called him Flash for a while now). After that 4 hit, 5 run debacle in the opener, Flash has settled in and is gaul darn near unhittable. In April, he has gone 10 innings, giving up only 5 hits, 2 ER, 5 BB and has fanned 12. Let's hope he stays this way for a while folks.

Jeers to the Sixers. A young team that showed heart all season including the first 3 games of the Pistons series turned into a bunch of sissys in games 4-6, losing each by at least 19 points. How did Iggy, our supposed (future) superstar scored only 16 points and continued his woeful FT shooting, going 7-12. Way to be clutch Iggy. Even Andre Miller, the heart and soul of this year's team only managed 11 points and 2 dimes. Great run boys, I just wish you came out liked you gave a d*mn in the last few. It should be a big year next year for Jason Smith, Thaddeus and Sweet Lou. Joe Banner, you don't even play sports in our fair city and you get the biggest jeers of all. B Dawk stuck up for his teammate and friend Lito. Dawkins isn't a disruptive force, he is a class act and arguably the most popular Eagle. You have a history of locking up players young to long contracts that they eventually become unhappy with. Yes, Lito signed it and should honor it but you could have spoken with him prior to the Samuel signing. In my opinion, Samuel is a system player and may be better than Lito, but only marginally. Lito has injury issues but can still match with Samuel any day of the week given the right system and players around him. For you to say that B Dawk doesn;t know what is going on is crazy. He has been around this organization for about a decade so I think he knows EXACTLY what's going on. I just hope you know what'g going on after Weapon X "accidentally" give you a Wolverine tackle during pre-game.