You Never Close Your Eyes Anymore When I Kiss Your Lips...

Your Phightin' Phils got TWO HIT last night by Jagggr Jurrrrrgens and the Atlanta Braves. Go back and read that last sentence again. Amazingly, they managed to score a run, but did so without a hit. Werth walked, advanced to third when Jurrrrrgennnnz threw the ball away trying to pick him off, and scored from third on the weakest sac fly I've seen since I stopped drinking at Little League games.

Jimmy Rollins. Oh Jimmy. You used to be my favorite, so slick with the glove. But now you're 0-8 with in this series and 0 for your last 27. If the magic isn't gone, it's draining quickly.

Cole Hamels is more troubling. He have up seven earned runs last night in 4+ innings, raising his ERA to 4.98 for the season. He's also been having trouble all year with pitch counts. I've notice that teams are fouling off a lot of pitches against him, most of which were swing-and-misses in the past. To me, that says his stuff just isn't quite as nasty. It'll be interesting to see how he bounces back next start.

In conclusion, f$#$@&!

Series Recap: Phils - Blue Jays

Hey! Guess what! Jimmy Rollins sat for this whole series, mainly because Uncle Chuck finally figured out that having your leadoff hitter batting .211 with a .254 on base percentage is generally bad for business. And the Phillies' business is scoring runs.

For those of you new to this team, the Phillies do NOT win when they score less than four runs. It does not happen. If, in some bizarre future, you turn on the tube and the phillies are up 3-0 in the bottom of the ninth, turn off the television. Because they will lose.

The phils last five wins: 5-4, 10-0, 10-1, 11-6, 6-3. We need to score runs, people.

Series Recap: Whoo! we finally take a series! Despite choking on it all through interleague play, the phils are now three games up on the Mets.

The Good: J.A. Happ. I love it when a guy comes up does well his first several games, and he's crowned the next great Phillies Pitcher. There was only one great Phillies Pitcher-Steve Carlton. And he's dead. (Ed. Note - Steve Carlton not actually dead.)

I wish you well, Happ, but you'll find that Major Leaguers pick up that 91 mph fastball a little better the second time around.

The Bad: Brad Lidge. I know he got the save, but that knee is not all the way back. If it's not back by now, folks, it's not coming back. Not this season.

The Hero: Jamie Moyer. He only gave up four runs in five innings! What progress! Did you guys know we get to watch him next year, too? Jamie Moyer also tied Bob Gibson for career victories, which is the last time the two of them will be mentioned in the same sentence.

The Goat: John McDonald. He was put in as a pinch runner, then somehow got caught in a rundown off second base, practically awarding Lidge the save when he had looked very shaky. John Mcdonald, the manager would like to see you. No, change out of your uniform first.

Uncle. We'll Start Writing Again.

I hope you're happy, Phillies.

The authors of this little escapade started writing because we were so fed up with the Philadelphia sports scene. We started writing in baseball season, and although I fancy myself a football fan first and foremost, the frequency and depth of our posts followed the Phillies' season. Simply put, if they're not losing, we're not writing.

Then a funny thing happened. The Phils started winning. All the time. There's no need for the cathartic angst spray of a blog post after a World Championship. We were satiated. We were...happy.

Happy = no writing. A remarkable Eagles season came. I wrote about how Dawkins was washed up, then he had one of the best and most inspiring seasons of his career. McNabb played ok, got benched, then played out of his mind. DeSean Jackson is the first legit WR we've had since Fred Barnett. The Flyers made the playoffs. The Sixers made the playoffs. This has been a great season for Philly sports. Our collective reaction: eh. We were still in the fuzzy afterglow, all fattened up on winning.

However, the Phils' recent slide, and lacksadaisical play, has reignited some of the embers in my cold heart. Jimmy Rollins is two years removed from his BS MVP year, and refuses to hit line drives-but the man still plays the best SS in the National League. Jason Werth is batting .250, and looking worse. The whole team plays like a bunch a wimps all the sudden. And it's despicable.

It's horrendous. It's an affront to the best fans in the world, who pay good money to watch them suck. And I, well, I just can't take this anymore.

We're back, bitches.

Now Paging Doctor Anybody

On Sunday, April 20, the Phillies put Jimmy Rollins on the 15-day DL. Rollins was originally hurt on April 8th at Shea Stadium, and listed as "day-to-day." Scuttlebutt heard on local talk radio is that Rollins did not get an MRI until April 16. Rollins continued to be called upon to pinch hit in nearly every game, despite being in obvious discomfort walking, swinging the bat, and generally performing acts necessary to play baseball.

[Urge to kill rising....RISING....RISING!!!]

If this all seems vaguely familiar, that's because the Phillies medical staff is completely incompetent, and/or the Phillies habitually lie to their fans. Let's recap the last two seasons, shall we?

Tom Gordon: sent back to Philadelphia in Spring of '07, which the Phillies claimed was a regularly scheduled check up. [LIE] They then claimed Gordon was suffered from biceps tendinitis [LIE]. Gordon was then put on the 15-day DL, which turned into the 60-day DL. Turns out, Tom Gordon has a fairly serious shoulder issue (either a partial rotator cuff tear or a frayed bursa sac in the shoulder), and surgery would end his career. So we give him the eighth inning.

Freddy Garcia: The Phillies traded for Freddy Garcia before last season, despite reports from scouts and media that he had lost approximately 10 mph off his fastball. The Phillies then did not have him examined by team doctors prior to making the trade official. Garcia opened the season on the DL with "biceps tendinitis."[LIE] Freddy Garcia made 11 starts, collected 1 win, and was paid 10 million dollars before going down for the season with a right shoulder injury which required surgery.

Brett Myers: Last season, Myers was put on the 15 day disabled list on May 25, with what was called a "strained right shoulder." Myers did not pitch again until July 28, more than 60 days later. No clarification of his injury was provided.

Ryan Madson: Madson was placed on the 15-day DL on July 30 last year, again with the ever-popular "shoulder strain." He did not pitch again that season. No clarification of his injury was ever provided.

Forgive me, then, if I believe that Rollins' injury might be more serious than what I'm being told. The Phillies front office is apparently not good with facts, and the doctors aren't all that good at doctoring. Other than that, no reason to worry.

Phillies Recap: Mets take 2 of 3 in weekend series

In an effort to bring you the most extensive Phils coverage, the effervescent Phillies Superfan Ballz D. McGuillicuty will be providing you with his insights after every Phils game. Hold onto your butts.


The Good:
Chase Utley. Here's his numbers from the weekend tilt. 6-11, 4 HR, 6 RBI. Homered in each game, twice in the series finale, most likley sensing that one dinger in each of the previous two games wasn't enough to get the job done. He now leads MLB in home runs with 8 and is batting a robust .351. Utley is doing everything in his power to pick up the slack for the missing Jimmy Rollins (more on him later). And for those who think Utley can't hit lefties because for some reason, most left-handed hitters can not hit southpaw pitchers...Chase is batting .308 with 4 of his 8 long balls off of lefties.


Starting Pitching. Every one of the outings by the starter's was good enough to win. Especially in Citizen's Bank Ballpark. Especially with this supposed thunderous lineup. Especially in 80 degree heat. Yet none of them came out victorious and two of the 3 wound up on the losing end. The Phillies continue to get fairly solid starting pitching. Adam Eaton has already given the team more this season then he did all last year. Moyer has thrown well ever since his rocky season debut. Hamels and Myers are now giving you what we expected from them coming into the year. Kendrick is really the only member not pulling his weight right now, but even his last start was quite solid. The pitching staff reminds you of the Eagles defense for many years; bend, don't break. Here's some staggering numbers: .252, .295, .327, .362, .375. Those are the opponent's batting averages against the Phillies rotation this season. Yikes.


The Rivalry. This is turning into something good. Was down at the game on Saturday. I'll admit it, the Philadelphia fans were a little rowdy, but so were the New Yorkers who made the trip. Saw some entertaining signs in the crowd (although none as clever as my favorite crowd sign of all time; Targeted at the highly talented yet exceptionally disinterested in playing baseball first baseman, Travis Lee, the sign read simply: Travis Leave). There was a fight or two. But most of the verbal sparring was good natured, even if R-rated due to a combination of competitive games and overpriced alcohol. Even I, somewhat intoxicated and somewhat belligerent, let the moment get the better of me. Yes, it was me trying to drown out the Let's Go Mets chants with my own version of the jingle, referencing methods of post-game celebration that I unjustly (perhaps) accused Mets' players of sharing with each other. But at the end of the day, it was an enjoyable game made even better by the level of contempt that has quickly developed over the past couple of seasons.



Couple of quick notes on things I don't get though, while we're discussing this rivalry. I listened to a little bit of NY sports talk on my ride into work this morning and I heard a couple of people call up with the same story. "I drove down to the game with my 10 year old niece and 8 year old nephew. We were taking my nephew to the game for his birthday. He's a big Mets fan. We're all dressed in our Mets gear and people start yelling obscenities at us, for no reason."


Ok, let's get a couple of things straight. First, there was a reason; you were openly supporting the hated opponent. Second, this happens in every city, at least any city that cares about their sports teams. I've been to Mets games wearing my Phillies attire. It's no picnic. Third, we don't scream at your kids. This does not mean that bringing kids with you means you're exempt from the verbal abuse, but rest assured that it is all directed at you and not the children. Listen, everyone knows how this works. If you're going to a game in hostile territory, you can feel somewhat confident that if you come dressed in plain garb and support your team through typical cheering, you'll be fine. If you're decked out in your Doc Gooden jersey, waving your orange foam finger and singing the winner of most annoying baseball diddly award (Jose, Jose, Jose, Jose...), you're equally to blame. I would expect the same treatment if I trekked into Shea wearing my red 'Our second baseman actually is the age he claims' tee shirt.


Second, and this was the thing that perplexed me the most. I'm not one to even yell things at opposing fans who employ such tactics as outlined above. However, when those same fans react to a positive play for their squad by turning and directing their celebration specifically at particular people, as if the fat guy in his Ken Howell jersey with nacho cheese on his chin (come to think of it, maybe that was Ken Howell) just threw the last pitch, it's fairly infuriating. Slap hands with your buddy, yell how much Ryan Howard sucks but don't tell me how David Wright had sex with my mom and that double he just hit proves it.


The Bad:
Ryan Howard. Compare his numbers with Utley's over the series. 1-13. 0 R, 0 RBI, 6K, 8 LOB. There is no reason right now that Howard shouldn't be batting 5th with Burrell hitting 4th, other then Manuel is scared to make the move for fear of hurting the big man's ego. The Mets blatantly pitched around Utley twice on Saturday when there were men on base because they'd rather face Howard. I am confident that he'll turn it around but right now he's killing us, especially without Rollins to help pick up the slack. Hoping that the 3 righties they're facing in the next 4 games, all with ERA over 5, including one over 7, will be the medicine for what ails him.


Jimmy Rollins FINALLY on DL: This should've happened two weeks ago. We've played shorthanded for two weeks and now this decision is made? Rollins almost fell over from his ankle giving out in his first pinch hit at bat and he had to be replaced in his 3rd pinch hit at bat after singling. It was painfully obvious, pun intended, that this move needed to be made, yet it wasn't. Until now. Despicable.


Non-Philadelphia Media: Speaking of despicable. Outsiders criticized fans for presumably booing Reyes when he jammed his neck trying to steal second on Friday night. This is typical uninformed journalists just running with a story about Philadelphia fans booing an injured opponent again. In reality, no one booed Reyes until it was obvious that he was not seriously hurt. Fans started voicing their displeasure when Reyes took about 10 minutes to decide whether or not he was going to stay in the game. He took so long that Hamels had to throw more pitches to stay warm and sure enough his first pitch after the long delay was stroked for an RBI triple. Philadelphian's booed while Jose took practice runs in the baseline, not when he was down on the ground. What actually was a display of a high level of understanding of the game was written about as though we were savages. Philadelphia fans have a reputation and it is not totally undeserved, but please get the facts straight before rolling out the Santa Claus snowball stories.






JC Romero with inherited runners: I don't have the stats right now, but I will, but JC is a different pitcher when he starts an inning versus when he comes in mid-inning. Friday's 0-3 attempt at stranding runners illustrates the point.


The Hero:
Either had to be Utley or David Wright, as the two most productive players throughout the series. Seeing as the Mets won 2 of 3, Wright gets the nod.


The Goat:
Howard, for all the reasons mentioned above.


The Bottom Line:
Winning that game last night was big. Even though they only took one of 3, winning last night is a 2 game swing. And it makes the 7 game road trip that the Phils head on now at least start with a little momentum and good feelings. Kendrick takes the hill in Colorado tonight, a good place to be a sinker ball pitcher. I don't have a good feeling though. Prediction: Rockies 7, Phillies 6. Utley doesnt go yard again, but Feliz will.

Phillies Recap: Astros 2 Phillies 1

In an effort to bring you the most extensive Phils coverage, the effervescent Phillies Superfan Ballz D. McGuillicuty will be providing you with his insights after every Phils game. Hold onto your butts.

The Good:
Kyle Kendrick: Gonna be a short list of the good today but KK leads the list. Bouncing back from that horrendous effort against the Mets last time out, Kendrick looked solid in 7 strong. Even the ball the Bourn hit out was a good pitch. Only a 10-6 ground ball to fly ball ratio so the sinker wasn't at its peak, but solid enough. Another wasted outing from the starting staff.

Duration of Game: A crisp two hours and seventeen minutes. Easier to rebut the fiance's playful jab of, 'Oh good, I was hoping we'd get to watch baseball again tonight.' Ineptitude at least has some redeeming quality.

The Bad:
The Offense: Some days you just tip your cap to the opponent and I'll do that today to Roy Oswalt. He had nasty stuff working last night. We're talking frat party porno nasty. Anyone else see the curve he struck Burrell out on? Pat actually laughed in disbelief after missing it. It was that good. But...but...in the 8th and 9th innings, with Oswalt out of the game, the 'Stros called upon two relievers, one of a Rule 5 draftee, pitching his 3rd major league inning; the other, a 40 year old journeyman. Both throwing primarily fastballs. Wesley Wright did nothing other then strike out the side. Feliz, Utley, Howard. The last of those K's more predictable then the plot of The Devil's Advocate. Doug Brocail then mopped up, notching 2 strikeouts of his own. Note to Greg Dobbs: Stand closer to the plate!

The Hero:
Toss-up. Oswalt was great, but I'll go with Bourn. Responsible for both Houston runs including a surprising home run that wound up being the difference.

The Goat:
The offense, as a whole. This level of futility is inexcusable for this lineup, even without Rollins.

The Bottom Line:
Couple of quick thoughts. For the love of God, put Rollins on the DL. Two nights ago when he pinch hit, he almost collapsed after one of his swings. Last night, after getting a pinch hit single, they needed to run for him with Taguchi. The Phillies continue to play all of these close games and do so one man short on the bench. And every time they pinch hit with Rollins, that's just one more day we can't retro activate his DL stint.

And time to mention one of my favorite whipping boys here in the early going. Carlos Ruiz is hitting .186 with 0 HR's a two extra base hits in 43 AB. Chris Coste is hitting .267 with 1 HR and 3 extra base hits, in 28 fewer AB's. Coste has a career average of over 50 points higher then Ruiz, both with about 1 full season worth of AB under their belts. I understand Ruiz is the future and Coste is already long in the tooth. But can't we at least give Coste 2 out of every 5 games instead of 1?

Not a ton of insights today, but the game last night was pretty uneventful. Prediction for today, day game: Phillies 6 Astros 4 Chase Utley goes yard today...I have a feeling.