I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Dizz-am, I wish someone would set a Phils Recap to quotes from the crap-tastic Stallone movie "Cobra." Consider it done.
Supermarket Killer: Get back! I got a bomb here! I'll blow this whole place up!
Marion Cobretti: Go ahead. I don't shop here.
Supermarket Killer: Get back! I got a bomb here! I'll blow this whole place up!
Marion Cobretti: Go ahead. I don't shop here.
Cole Hamels is good. He hasn't given up a run in 19 innings. Of course, he got a no-decision in game 2 of this series, since we decided to stop scoring runs, despite 7 innings of shutout, four hit baseball from Messr. Hamels.
Marion Cobretti: All right, just relax, Amigo. You wanna talk - we'll talk. I'm a sucker for great conversation.
Supermarket Killer: [shouting] I don't wanna talk to you! Now you bring in the television cameras in here now! C'mon, bring 'em in!
Marion Cobretti: Can't do that.
Supermarket Killer: Why?
Marion Cobretti: I don't deal with psychos. I put them away.
Ryan Howard! yay! he's hit five homeruns in his last 8 games to raise his average to .195. And yes, I'm celebrating because a former MVP is batting .195. It sure beats the .171 he was batting ten days ago, doesn't it?
Marion Cobretti: [shakes his head] You're a disease - and I'm the cure.
This one should be about Hamels. but why not Jamie Moyer? Six innings of shutout ball, throwing mainly and 82 mph heater. I love it. It's so beautiful, yet so crappy; maybe the other way around. Just like this movie.
Ingrid: Do you ever get involved?
Cobretti: With a woman?
This is for all those players with "tremendous upsides" playing for the Nats. Lastings Milledge - batting .241. Wily Mo Pena - batting .220. Elijah Dukes- batting .067. How's that working so far? Even Ryan Zimmerman, whom I feel is legit, is only batting .256. Ugh.
At this point, Wily Mo Pena is baseball's Kwame Brown-he looks like a player, he walks like a player, he talks like a player, but he doesn't ball like a player.
Night Slasher: You want to go to hell? Huh, pig? You want to go to hell with me? It doesn't matter, does it? We are the hunters. We kill the weak so the strong survive. You can't stop the New World. Your filthy society will never get rid of people like us. It's breeding them! WE ARE THE FUTURE!
Marion Cobretti: No! [aims his gun]
Marion Cobretti: You're history.
Marion Cobretti: All right, just relax, Amigo. You wanna talk - we'll talk. I'm a sucker for great conversation.
Supermarket Killer: [shouting] I don't wanna talk to you! Now you bring in the television cameras in here now! C'mon, bring 'em in!
Marion Cobretti: Can't do that.
Supermarket Killer: Why?
Marion Cobretti: I don't deal with psychos. I put them away.
Ryan Howard! yay! he's hit five homeruns in his last 8 games to raise his average to .195. And yes, I'm celebrating because a former MVP is batting .195. It sure beats the .171 he was batting ten days ago, doesn't it?
Marion Cobretti: [shakes his head] You're a disease - and I'm the cure.
This one should be about Hamels. but why not Jamie Moyer? Six innings of shutout ball, throwing mainly and 82 mph heater. I love it. It's so beautiful, yet so crappy; maybe the other way around. Just like this movie.
Ingrid: Do you ever get involved?
Cobretti: With a woman?
This is for all those players with "tremendous upsides" playing for the Nats. Lastings Milledge - batting .241. Wily Mo Pena - batting .220. Elijah Dukes- batting .067. How's that working so far? Even Ryan Zimmerman, whom I feel is legit, is only batting .256. Ugh.
At this point, Wily Mo Pena is baseball's Kwame Brown-he looks like a player, he walks like a player, he talks like a player, but he doesn't ball like a player.
Night Slasher: You want to go to hell? Huh, pig? You want to go to hell with me? It doesn't matter, does it? We are the hunters. We kill the weak so the strong survive. You can't stop the New World. Your filthy society will never get rid of people like us. It's breeding them! WE ARE THE FUTURE!
Marion Cobretti: No! [aims his gun]
Marion Cobretti: You're history.
This one's for Uncle Chuck. Remember how this team sticks together and rides out bad streaks now. Sometime in July, we'll be calling for his head after a botched double switch or infield alignment. But for now, he's got a team with little starting pitching, two MVPs that haven't performed because of injury or (whatever we're calling whats wrong with Howard), and this team is 1.5 games out. Credit where credit is due.
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