Running Diary of Game 3

So here we are at Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals and our Flyers have been a handful for the Habs so far. It’s a well-known fact (at least around my house and my office) that the Flyers playoff record is 5-0 when I watch the game with The Rook (my brother in law), drink heavily and eat bad food and is 0-4 when we don’t. This extends to Game 1 against Montreal when we each drank 2 beers and then I stopped because my allergies were bothering me (I know, I know). Now, it may have bee the horrible officiating but I think it’s my fault.

In the spirit of true fandom and in reaction to Guy Carbonneau's stupid comments following his sucker punch on Kimmo at the end of Game 2, I have decided to do a running diary of Game 3. What will I be doing to ensure my Flyers win you ask? You guessed it: Pizza, beer and some high fives with the Rook. Here goes, shout out to Bill Simmons for being a writing inspiration and an avid Canadiens hater ( the team not the residents of Canada). Here goes:

3:29 Pm: I send a text to the Rook to set plans, " Flyers.7."

4:05 PM: Rook's response, " Got hockey tonight" ( as in club scrimmage. I hate the Rook.)

4:05 PM- 5:28 PM: The Rook and I exchange text messages and I question his manhood, love for the Flyers and threaten to have half a dozen burly men beat him if the Flyers should lose.

5:28 PM: I notice a missed call from the Rook and call him. It seems for a brief moment like he might man up and come over, but he state's that my other brother in law " Fag" ( Mrs. Powers' nickname) has his hockey gear in his car. What an excuse. He promises to be over on Wednesday for Game 4. He can live--for now.

6:15 PM: The Power household sit down to a quick dinner of Chinese food. We discuss our days and watch CSI:Crime Scene Investigation. I could be drinking right now. I want to vomit.

7:00 PM: I realize that the game is starting now and get a call from Ballz at the same time. Ballz hates hockey but should still know better. I BS with Ballz for a few and let him go because he has come up on an accident during his trek home from his Ballz Inc. I value his friendship and do not want to see him hurt bwhahahaha ( I almost got that out).

7:05 PM: Mrs. Power makes fun of me when I tell her that I am blogging and states that only " you 3" read it. What Maxine does not realize is that there are 4 only ( albeit one probationary) and that we have at least 27 fans worldwide. She also tells me that I can "choose" between the computer and the TV when I request that the game is turned on. I tell her I will keep the computer and I will just slink into the bedroom. In other news she just lost $10K on Jeopardy and I answered a legal question right. Gotta love putting that Poly Sci degree to use.

7:21 PM: I still haven't turned the game on yet. I check ESPN and we are knotted a 0-0 with about 6 minutes gone. I am ok with this for now. Mrs. Power shakes her head when make an off color remark to finish the following sentence from E! News: " Elmo is red and furry with a big orange _ _ _ _ ". I need to move to another TV.

7:25 PM: I convince Maxine to switch to the Flyers games after I start to move into the bedroom to continue my diary. She tells me that " The game isn't on." until I point out the Stanley Cup Playoff listing. She starts yelling about the announcers. A sampling ( in a high pitched condescending voice), " Look at how well he uses his stick!!! ****ing F*****!!!!! Why don't you go ***********************************************?!?!?!?!" Use you imagination.

7:28 PM: RJ Umberger gets a shot on goal. This excites me because he is one of my favorite Flyers. I begin to get angry when I realize that he will probably not be around next year.

7:29 PM: 5 on 3 Habs. Not good. GLOVE SAVE BIRON!!!! The crowd goes nuts. Mrs. Power called thundersticks " Wang sticks." And you wonder why we're married.

7:32 PM: Penalty killed successfully. Good work Orange and Black. "The orange out" is impressive. Is that a term? I just made it one.

7:34 PM: I comment on the orange out to nobody in particular. I am really impressed. My dog looks at me like I am crazy, maybe I am.

7:35 PM: 5:55 left in the first and we get a commercial break. I am trying to think of things for the wife to do so she will leave me alone. I mention a stupid commercial to her and she laughs. Immediately following her chuckle, she mentions that " Jon and Kate Plus 8" is on at 9:00 and they are on Oprah. Maxxx Power senses an exit around 8:59 PM.

7:39 PM: I ask the wife why she doesn't like hockey and she tells me she isn't responding and giving me "material". Icing is the call.

7:40 PM: Richards puts a great move on and crashes into Price. My buddy "Shrek" has a heartattack. That's his man crush. Oh yeah. Price also gives Richards a "love tap". The Versus announcers are terrible.

7:43 PM: Price gets knocked down and triggers a " powder keg". It's called a fight. The announcers are giving Price man love. Someone on the Flyers jumps on a Canadien. We decide that it was a "flying scissor kick". Seems about right.

7:46 PM: It looked like a dive job on Price's part, Downie barely touched him. the good old "A-Hole" chant has started. I can't wait to hear how horrible we Philly fans are on ESPN tomorrow. Remember that time we hit Jeff Carter with a beer bottle, threw trash on the ice and dumped a Molson on Mike Richards? Oh wait they were Capitals and Canadiens fans..... You mean you didn't hear about that? Strange.

7:50 PM: End of the 1st period. 0-0. I tell the woman she can change the channel. She asks how many periods are in "this". I tell her 3, unless they go to OT. She groans. Back in a few.

8:10 PM: I return home from my walk to Wawa. It's a few blocks away and with gas the way it is, I decided to hoof it. I ran into a drunk guy in a LeClair jersey in the Wawa and we gave each other one of those head-nods that says, "I know you're here to get grub during intermission because you're drunk." Only I'm not drunk. Argh. I take my orange drink and salt and vinegar chips and get on my way.

8:17 PM: UPSHALL SCORES!!!! I hate the Rook right now, but he calls Upshall "Boy Wonder" which is funnier because Scotty is easily 3 years older than him. If you're wondering I got orange drink because the Flyers wear orange and black. Stupid, I know, but they were sold out of Black Cherry Wishniak ( mmm mm b*tch).

8:21 PM: Why do hockey announcers still call hockey jerseys sweaters? I understand the historic angle but it's a little outdated at this point ( I guarantee I will have 2-3 of my hockey loving friends email or call me about this tomorrow. That's right all 3 of my friends.

8:23 PM: The Versus announcer states that Flyers fans "aren't going to settle for just one round". I'm not sure what he means but I'm waiting for something about Santa Claus.

8:24 PM: Glove save and a beauty by Marty. I am shocked by all of the different ways to say his first and last name. I am going with Mahr-tee Beer-ahn. Done.

8:31 PM: apparently The Boy Wonder's goal is the only SOG so far.WOW. So you can get outshot 2-1 and at least get a lead.

8:32 PM " Jason Smith is hearing cheers from the crowd." Unless he changed his name to " Let's Go Flyers" I think the guy from Versus is wrong. We're all just waiting for him to sign with the Devils after this tear so we can hate him and maybe get a draft pick if the NHL has tampering rules.

8:34 PM: The wife has the remote and I'm glad she doesn't change the channel because Richy scores 3rd of the playoffs his on a beautiful shorthanded goal. I stand up and yell, " Yeah! He so hot!!! ( I'm hoping she will start to think a Flyer is good looking so she will watch more games)" and I get a high five. Richards was " cannolding" accordingly to the Versus guy. I have no words.

8:39 PM: I send Lovetron a text that says, "I like Biron's style." If I know him, he'll respond like I want.

8:40 Pm: RJ shoots he SCOOOOOORRRRREEESSS!!!!! I text my buddy Shrek since RJ is my boy and all.

8:42 PM: The 2nd period ends, after a great save on Koivu by Marty. The Versus guy calls Marty " Beer-onch" ( sounding like a French guy) A sign of respect if you ask me. 3-0 good guys.

8:45 PM: Shrek's wife Fiona texts me about RJ. Good times. AARRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHH JJAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

8:46 PM: A Sidney Crosby commerical come on and I yell horrible obscenities at the TV. Pretty standard stuff, mostly about being a whiner, liking men and such.

8:47 PM : I explain the tradition of the octupus on the ice in Detroit ( a fish monger started it for luck in 1912), including that it is a dead octupus to Mrs. Power and defend Upshall when she calls him "ugly". I don't care either way but I must defend my boys.

8:51 PM: I send Maxine to bed for her sass mouth ( and by send to bed I mean " say good night" when she adjourns to the bedroom).

8:53 PM: The history of towel waiving is an intermission segment. Roger Neilson started it!!! I'm shocked. It was a protest against ref's calls when he coached the Canucks. Good for Roger. Hard to believe it's almost 5 years since he passed. R.I.P. Roger, you gave motivation to us all.

9:04 PM: Jason Smith knocks down Kostitsyn. Way to go old man. I still hate you.

9:08 PM:NOOOOOOOOOO! RJ is down against the boards and it doesn't look good. They showed the reply and it looks like something with his leg. Boullion just got boarded by Hatcher and took offense. Oh well, good work Hatcher, I'd be mad if I was named after something that helps make gravy and soup.

9:13 PM: He comes a 5:00 major power play for Montreal. Gut check time boys. Do it for RJ, do it for Hatcher, do it for Caretaker....I'm rambling....

9:15 PM: Kostitsyn scores 2:12 into the power play. They showed the replay and no goal at first but the rebound counts. Nice camera work by Versus.Seriously. I'm not kidding. Really.

9:18 PM: Koivu scores. The announcer says " anguish by the locals." I hate this guy. I also hate the boarding call because it's now 3-2 .

9:21 PM: Nice save by Biron. It's cleared with 10 seconds left. FULL STRENGTH.

9:26 PM:Umberger is back and gets a shot deflected into the netting, but I'm fine with it because he's ok. He is a hockey player afer all. PAD SAVE ON KOIVU!!!!! MMMMAAARRRTTTTYYYY!!!!!

9:31 PM: Kukkonen just called called for interference on Begin. And so it "begin"s..... ( I couldn't help myself) Great here comes another power play but Marty just keeps making saves.

9:34 PM: Carter clears it and the penalty is half killed.

9:35 PM: Thorsen clears it. This guy is nuts ( pun intended). I went into this more in an unposted entry....but I digress....POWER PLAY OVER.

9:36 PM: Wait for it, wait for it.....it's your PECOOOOOOOOOO POWER POWER PLAY!!!!!!!! ( cue Welcome to the Jungle)

9:37 PM: It looks like some Montreal fans got a little too excited and busted some glass. But don't worry it's Philly so we're used to it. We're going to use the time to throw rocks at the Easter Bunny, pull the Tooth fairy's wings off and kick Santa in the nuts ( snowballs are so last season).

9:39. Golf club for the Flyers facility guys. The glass is back up and the power play is on like Donkey Kong. Pad save by Marty. Kimmo is slowing things up a bit, I like it. Crazy little Finish man.

9:44 PM: Back at even strength. The Canadiens have great puck movement with the empty net but the Good Guys have better defense. Flyers win 3-2. The Rook can live another day.

9:45 PM: Back to Comcast to hear Al and Bundy. Oh no, not Coatsey. He just keeps yelling Biron's name...I'm pretty sure he's drunk. Bundy agrees. I'm actually glad I'm not watching in HD on the plasma. He is not an attractive man.

9:46 PM: Your Maxxx Power stars of the game: 1. Biron 2. RJ 3. Richy. We even have Montreal with a bit of a goalie controversy.

9:48 PM: So let's review: Zero beers, no Rook and a Flyers win. That makes the record without 1-4. I like 5-0 better. Bet on beers and the Rook.Back on Wednesday. GO FLYERS.