Yet Another NBA Franchise Apparently Doesn't Do Background Checks

CLASSIFIED AD FOUND IN CHARLOTTE SUNNY-TIME OBSERVER*

WANTED:

1 professional basketball coach. Candidate should have background in North Carolina basketball, and generally make references to the program's storied history, etc.

Candidate should also be old, bitter, perpetually dissatisfied and nomadic. Candidate should stubbornly refuse to adapt to rule changes, changes in player development, changes in player attitude, and change in general. Candidate should have extensive history of making references to wanting to stay in current position for the remainder of career while making arrangements to move elsewhere. Candidate should constantly refer to coaching style and strategies as "The Right Way" despite significant evidence to the contrary.

Candidate should be universally lauded by pundits despite having won two (2) Championships in 33+ year coaching career, and further despite candidate's last coaching job resulting in the immolation of one of the NBA's most storied franchises.

Employer willing to overlook general sour demeanor and the presence of children young enough to be candidate's grandchildren. Employer also willing to overlook extreme negative feelings generated by Candidate's departure of every single position he has ever held.

APPLY TODAY!



Larry Brown: Holy Sh*t! Honey, call the movers! I've got another franchise to suck the life out of!

*Charlotte Sunny-Time Observer not an Actual Newspaper